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 Post subject: Re: Darris' Progress
PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2015 12:20 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2015 1:07 pm
Posts: 32
When ever I am able to string along a group of AF days (extremely rare these days though), I always journal and everytime I am like a broken record "Wow, I feel so good! I am able to get my house in order. I feel so energized. I got so much done today. I don't have that guilty feeling...etc." For the life of me, I don't know why that is not enough to keep me going AF. I read in the book, "How to Control your Drinking" and other resources that it takes 30-days to break a habit. I know for most of us, 30 days AF would be an eternity, but I will share with you that I was able to quit alcohol for 10 years before I relapsed 3 years ago. Prior to the 10 years I was gratefully able to have, the thought of not having alcohol in my life was not a pleasant thought. But I did it and I learned how to live a happy life completely free of it. So, I know in my heart it can be done again. My hope is that Nal and TSM will help me get there.

One strategy I use to go for AF days is that when I get to the time that I usually start drinking, I tell myself, all you have to do is not drink for the next 30 minutes or hour. Then when I reach that point, I tell myself to go for the next 30 minutes or hour. If I can make it to 8:30pm without a drink, the urge usually subsides and I go do something enjoyable like reading a great book, watching tv, or taking a bath. I think it is helpful take it in fragments. So, I like to think of them as AF moments rather than AF DAYS which can be overwhelming - at least to this habitual daily drinker.

Best of luck Darris!


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 Post subject: Re: Darris' Progress
PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 10:58 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2015 3:25 pm
Posts: 13
Hey all:

Thanks so much for the input. I really appreciate it. I am on week 3 and I have used Naltrexone 8 times. I have not been wasted at all, even when I drank a large amount one day. I was able to sober up rather quickly and had a clear head. I have a lot of AF days because I spent so much of the last 20 years in and out of AA, so racking up some days, weeks, months and even years was possible. However, because the actual disease was never treated and I couldn't stand AA the last 10 plus years, I would eventually pop the cork and go on a bender which would leave me in emotional and physical turmoil. At least now I know that I am actually treating the brain disease and I am open to see how this unfolds. It's still hard for me to imagine that I would reach a point whereby I lose all interest, but I see that it is possible over time. That makes sense once the addiction reverses.

I've always had hobbies and worked out through the years being a binge drinker - although not during the binge and recovery period. That was spent in mania then crash which was emotionally horrific. It makes sense now that when I drank all those endorphins and dopamine were intensified and alcohol really felt like an upper for many many hours, unlike now even, on Naltrexone where I do not get that initial rush and start to feel like I am off to the races. After a 2 or 3 day bender, no dopamine. Just depression, anxiety, guilt, terror, physically feeling like I wanted to just unzip my skin and climb out. I hated that feeling yet continued to binge over and over and over. Having gone to AA, it is true that my binging got worse by far. All that guilt and "loss" of time and friendships. I was always a successful person and sometimes my binges were pretty innocuous, like someone who attended a wedding reception and drank too much. I would return to AA and usually had a day or two and people were just baffled how that could be possible. They would look at me with pity and tell me that my problem was "I pulled it together too quickly." Was I supposed to show up as a homeless person? I didn't understand. Addiction is on a continuum and plenty of functioning alcoholics manage to pull it together day after day and no one is the wiser. Damn, I hate AA. Sorry, but I just do. So many wasted years in those rooms with nothing to show for it other than being deft at deprogramming after leaving a cult.

Having the naltrexone has also given me a sense of optimism. I feel different. I don't have that dirty little secret drinking problem and I am not worried about having to return to AA. I also know in my heart that Nal is actually treating the addiction whereby AA was just a religious distraction that aggravated the addiction. It's still so bizarre to me that so many people will not even take the time to look at the webpage for "The Sinclair Method." Very lazy in modern times. Here is a cure sitting right there for the taking and "Nah, maybe later." I ordered my pills immediately the day I discovered it!

It's been really good to hear people's experiences and I understand that it's not just a magic pill. I am fortunate in that I have lived most of the last 20 years of my life without drinking. I just feel secure in knowing that I don't have to play Russian Roulette now every time I do decide to imbibe. We have a lot of summer activities coming up and I am so far confident that this will continue to work. I really don't like the out of control insanity so there is absolutely no desire to discard the pill in favor of another one of those journeys.

On average, how long does it take for a binge drinker to reach full effects of the medicine? I know that there is a honeymoon period and probably a placebo effect also. Your input is so appreciated. All of you - Thank you!

Darris.


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 Post subject: Re: Darris' Progress
PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 12:15 pm 
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Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 6:52 am
Posts: 1003
Location: England
Darris

The fact you have previous AF time makes me very hopeful for you, it makes me feel you have the tools to break the habit, and that Nal/TSM will remove the physical addiction so that you can put all that you used previously into place.

A bit like the missing link.

_________________
Naltrexone Started 20th April 2011

Cravings eliminated Sept 2011
Now fully in control, alcohol no longer bothers me. Chose to go AF from 22nd July 2013.
TSM set me free


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 Post subject: Re: Darris' Progress
PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 12:49 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2015 3:25 pm
Posts: 13
That makes sense, UK Blonde. I appreciate that. I agree.


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 Post subject: Re: Darris' Progress
PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 2:27 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2015 1:07 pm
Posts: 32
Thank you for sharing your experience Darris. I too experienced AA. It helped me launch 10 years of sobriety (although I was not fully active in meetings the last 7 years), but when I relapsed after 10, I found that AA no longer worked for me. And, while I could string along some AF days, I always slipped up, and dove right back into daily drinking. I fully believe that one significant reason I cannot stay sober is because of the physical dependance. Like you, I am hopeful that this will be the thing that gets me over the hurdle.

Many philosophies of AA I no longer agree with, but I will say, I did learn some tools that I can incorporate into my personal program with TSM. I also found a lot of information and tools in HAMS (Harm Reduction for Alcohol) http://www.hamsnetwork.org/. There is a great chapter in there with an interesting view point about AA. So between the tools of AA, HAMS, and TSM, I am building a program that works for me at this point in my life.

We are all different, so we cannot expect a single approach or program work for everyone. I think we need to find our own way! Good luck to you in your journey!

_________________
Pre-TSM: Avg. 42 | 0 AF
Start: 5/6/15
W1-9: Avg. 27/1 AF
W5-10 No track - No AF
W11-14 No track - 2 AF - Craving gone
W15: 7/6 AF
W16: 7/6 AF
W17: 7/6 AF


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 Post subject: Re: Darris' Progress
PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2015 7:40 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2013 5:38 pm
Posts: 300
Some take a few pills (i forget how many i took but it was under 10) and we have had some people come back after 2 years and declare a cure. Some relapse in between.

In my experience, the more I craved it, the more the letdown when i did drink (with nal) and the faster the extinction. Thats just my theory though, I have no science to back it up.

Good luck on your journey.

_________________
Skipping nal? Not waiting the full hour?

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement

Read "intermittent reinforcement" and "schedules"

Pre: 14-30/wk
9 Oct 13: 2.5
15 Oct 13: 3.5
17 Nov 13: 1.75
28 Feb 14: 2
1 Apr 14: 2


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