Any tips on dealing with triggers , especially unexpected ones like being hardly put down.

Irrational confidence always works for me. What's even better is that if you have it, people seldom mess with you.

Fake it till you make it.

I usually go complain to someone I trust, who will sympathize with me and agree that the other person was rude and horrible.

There are other methods. Sometimes I use a judge-and-label method: "Well, he's a jerk. How do you expect a jerk to act? Nice?"

A third, which doesn't work well for me but does for some, is to go with the flow and accept it. "There is no law of nature dictating that other people must be reasonable and kind." SMART Recovery has a tool called the ABC which is helpful with this; I can explain further if you like.

Some people are naturalists, believing that everyone acts exactly as their DNA and experiences force them to act. That's another one that doesn't work for me, but some people find it comforting.

I try not to take others' behavior personally. I try to understand why someone acts the way they do 'cause it's about them, not me.

I get triggered when I have a surge of anger about something, but it hasn't been too much of an issue since alcohol haa become less appealing.

Simply recognising the feeling you are feeling, taking a moment to think hang on I'm feeling anxious/angry/whatever can be incredibly freeing.