Well, week #4 has been stable but I have noticed that I'm drinking just a tad bit more in the evenings, mostly because I haven't figured out how to get off the couch between 7-9, I just really like to watch a movie during that time and although I am watering down my drinks considerably I'm still drinking; I do think that if I can find alcohol free vodka that I'd be fine with that.

I have forced myself to stay busy from 5-7 though so that's progression that wasn't there, it helps that we rescued another Westie who is 1.5 years old so the energy in the house is high. I think 2 westies are the limit for us though, between the walking, barking, feeding etc... that's enough. I love that he helps keep me off the couch though - that's a good thing.

Still at 25 mg of nal in the evening and was very pleased with myself last holiday weekend thanks to nal so I must focus on the positives going on and not on the 7-9 weeknite negatives.

Still feel a numbing pain in the liver area - can't wait for that to go away. I've started on a liver-friendly food quest and am drinking a ton of lemon water during the day so doing what I can there....

I did email Dr. Markus Heilig at the NIAAA yesterday and urged for more publicity on nal and tsm - fingers crossed!

Hope all of you are having a good week and my thoughts are always out there with you!

Marianne

Marianne,
Glad to hear that week 4 has been a better one for you. It is still early days, and I think the ups and downs are fairly inevitable. We all seem to struggle with the emotional side of it at times (my latest update wasn't the cheeriest) but you're doing well and your consumption is down. Alternatives for that 7 to 9 spot will come along in time. Congratulations on the new Westie.

Sheryl,
Thank you so much for writing what you did. It came at exactly the right time for me... I really needed to read those words.

Nal on!

Ruth.

Thanks Ruth! I'll go check out your latest post.

Yes.... nal on

I also emailed Dr. Heilig on Monday and have yet to receive a reply. I did speak to one of my family members who is research MD and he did not seem to discount TSM. Neurochemistry is not related to his field but .... I wonder what the protocol for someone working for the NIH is regarding emailing individuals asking for advice. My guess is that I won't hear back due to liability issues or the fact that he is too busy but maybe the emails will make Dr. Heilig look more closely at TSM. I only had two pints of beer last night- might be that hope is creeping back in and that I am somehow already motivated by that? I can most likely piece a week of AFs together by other methods if need be prior to taking NAL- should I? Or should I just keep the same patterns up and then start it?

Thanks

bobbyhose,

If you can go AF w/o nal then I would suggest you do it, maybe just reading all our stories and understanding the dangers of getting so far in to alcoholism can help you maintain a more sober life. If not, get the nal, you might find that it works quick with you at this point.

I don't expect a response back either, can't imagine how many people bombard editors with comments but at least we did our part.

I can always white knuckle it for a short period of time but it is always followed by a prolonged binge. I was just asking if I should stop for a week or so before starting the process.

White knuckling it is not good for your emotional health - I would advise against that. Nal won't work unless you're drinking along with it so quitting for a week before-hand won't do you any good unless of course you need to for severe health reasons. I would recommend just starting up the nal now - but don't forget... nal + 1 hour and then your drink. If you're not going to drink then don't bother taking the nal.

Oh, and I'm no doctor by any stretch of the imagination - this is just what I've learned for me.

I second what mbilbre said above!

Cliff Notes Rules:

- If you are going to drink strictly follow the rule Nal + 1hr
- If you take the Nal but then decide not to drink - that's great!
- If you decide not to drink because you choose to - that's even better!
- Don't use willpower or white knuckle an AF

TSM works over time. As time passes you should naturally choose not to drink or choose to drink a lot less.

Rich

Sitting here with an ice pick behind my right eye and a desire to puke my guts out. Why do I continue to act like a stubborn 15 yr old drinking when I know I won't feel it, I'm killing my organs and I ruin a beautiful Saturday. Morning?! I'm sick of this. I am a 45 yr old highly professional and intelligent woman. I'm successfull with an amazing career, great husband, successful and well educated children and yet I'm sitting here sick from my own hands. This has to stop and not only do I have a lifeline with nal, I hav strenght from my Father in heaven. I have been taking great advantage of my health and the relationships around me and from this moment on I am going to work much harder towards abstinence. Thank you tsmers for being here for me and lending your support. It means more than you can imagine. Marianne.

Marianne,

I think/say the same things to myself. Especially since TSM/Nal has taken away the "pleasure" I once perceived from drinking. This has to be part of the learning process and eventually I'll figure out that I can take alcohol or bleach and get the same result. Beat me long and hard enough and I'll get the message.

Nal, drink, fell like crap, learn, pray, rinse, repeat (but with a little less gusto than last time).....

You have too many thing going for you and you recognize you have a problem and you are working on solving that problem.

Rich