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I also thought a lot about how and why I came to drink almost all my drinks in secret. Partly, it was because I did it that way for the first few years so I wouldn't get busted by my parents. As time went on, I often thought that I did it because I didn't want my wife to think she was married to an alcoholic. It was being protective of her -- since I knew I could get away with it, what was the value in her knowing about my problem? I figured it was better she think she was married to a normal guy. This was at least partly rationalizing, because I also didn't want her to find out because I knew I was trapped by alcohol and couldn't quit if she demanded it. When I finally, finally told her (after three times of "coming clean," yet lying about what I REALLY did), it was difficult and cathartic. It pretty much snapped that behavior in half and I gained much more freedom. If you've ever been a liar about something, you know how it ensnares you and takes away your freedom (think of adultery and the terrible things a spouse will do to hide this -- one little affair can stress a person out for the rest of their lives).
Anyway, y'all have a good weekend. My parents are coming in for the weekend -- normally, this would mean lots of drinking. Not sure what's going to happen, but I definitely don't feel like drinking right now. Bleh.
_________________ Barry Pre TSM 25-40 drinks per week, every night off, compulsively,secretly,lots of risky behavior Wk Count: 11, 4, 4, 2, 7.5, 2.5,2,2 Cured 0,0,0,0, 0.5, 1.5, 1, 0, 1, 2, 0.5,0,0,8,2,32,3,0,2,5,10,5,9,7,0 Peace Out!
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