It's been a few days since I've posted. I've gone ahead w/ having a glass of wine at a couple events to see how I respond to that.

On Saturday, I went to a dinner (took a nal) and had 1 glass of wine---really, it was less than 5 oz of wine I think. I noticed as I was drinking it that I did not really enjoy the taste and when I finished the wine I had no cravings to have anymore, which I didn't. Good result. Sunday was AF.

Then on Monday, I had a lunch at a lovely restaurant on Pebble Beach...perfect for a tasty glass of wine...but didn't really have a craving or interest in having one...so didn't. Then Monday evening, I went to a "Mom's night out" event where everyone was drinking wine so I ordered a glass of chardonnay. (I had taken a nal beforehand). It was a large glass...perhaps more than the 5oz serving. Unlike, my experience on Saturday, this wine struck me as very tasty and I really enjoyed it. There were a few hors d'oeurves but nothing substantial food wise. After I finished the glass, there was a mild feeling of "a second glass of wine would be just as good" (I felt a bit of that nice buzz that I used to so enjoy)...but it was only a mild feeling and I had made up my mind in these early drinking experiences that I'd just have one glass. One glass makes it simple; it's one and that's it. And so far that has been easy to stick to.

Well this morning I woke with a mild nalover and very glad that I stuck with the "one drink only rule". I just need to remember to eat more to make sure there isn't a nalover. Fortunately w/ some headache meds and vitamin B complex, I seem to have bounced back.

So I feel pretty good about how things are going. The one thing about my AF route is it has given me confidence in my will power and knowledge that I can go several days AF w/out thinking about alcohol every waking minute. And I now no longer feel like I'm "white knuckling" it when a craving comes out of nowhere. The AF period has helped me "fast track" it to a much better place where alcohol isn't a substitution for things lacking in my life. Having had a glass of wine at a few social events recently has also helped calm me down about a major relapse. I know I can do this. So far, taking a nal and having 1 glass of wine hasn't been a big deal; it's been very doable.

So I will continue on day by day, week by week. Hopefully I will continue to stay the course. I can't think of any social events for the next week or so, so expect the upcoming period will be AF.

Wishing everyone success in your own milestones.

Hi Got the Gene, I have decided to go the AA route and have my nephew coming over shortly to talk the talk. I hope this reintroduction works for you as I will be looking for your posts. Good Luck, Keek

Good luck to you Kekede. I think it's great you are trying AA. You may try it and find it's the right thing for you. You may also find it's not the right thing for you but you should be satisfied knowing you explored this avenue. At a minimum, you will probably receive some good advice that will inevitably help you. I've listened to a number of AA podcasts and just found comfort in knowing I'm not alone out there.

If you manage to do a significant AF stretch and find you just can't take it, you can certainly start taking the Nal again and reintroduce alcohol back into your life. Or go to AA and continue w/ TSM. There are a number of approaches and one just has to keep working at it. It's one day at a time.

Wishing you well and keep us posted.

Thank you for the encouraging words. You are right about doing what works for each individual. Thank you for continuing to post, even while going AF. I wish you much success! Keek

The last 7 days have been AF. I'm meeting a friend tonight and that may include a glass of wine; will take my nal in case it goes that way. In the meantime, I've cracked open a new book, "How to Change your Drinking: A Harm Reduction Guide to Alcohol". So far, I really like this resource and recommend it. It's along the same lines as "Over the Influence".

Had another headache the last 2 days...what's up w/ that? I get more headaches now that I'm not drinking than when I was drinking daily. It's almost enough to make me start drinking again .
Interestingly enough, I always seem to get the headache a few hours or a day after my marriage counseling. So I've decided to reduce the frequency of the counseling. Too much focus on the things that aren't perfect. Frankly, it's driving me nuts...not to mention being tired of the headaches.

Well done and congratulations on so many A/F days Gotthegene. One of these fine days I hope to be like you but I still have a long way to go.
Thanks for your encouragement


FallingToPieces

Went trick or treating with my kids and friends last night. Took some Nal before we did in case an opportunity of a drink came up....and it did. One house was offering a glass of wine to the adults and so I partook. (You know you're in the right neighborhood when they're offering wine ) The wine didn't taste very good (maybe partly due to the Nal and maybe fundamentally b/c it wasn't a good wine).

I felt a buzz afterward (I'm such a lightweight) and for about 5 minutes I really wanted more of that buzz. But then I thought of the possibility of a nalover and then just got diverted to other stuff. Anyway another 1-drink event down. Again, one day at a time.

Crazy "10 rating" craving last night. Due to mysterious water in my butler's pantry, I started defrosting our mini-fridge. So had to take out the cold beer, limoncello, and wine. Then the wine out of the lower cupboards. Bang it hit me. REALLY WANTED A DRINK. I was really hanging by a thread. Took some baclofen. Felt like I was trying to go for an AF day during the time when I was drinking daily. I thought about taking the darn Nal and just having a drink but didn't want to be seen drinking at home (yet). I plan to have a rum eggnog at Christmas and a glass of wine or two but don't want to drink inside the home before then.

B/w me and this forum I want to shake this label of an "alcoholic". It's coming back to haunt me. As recently as Tuesday, in a discussion w/ my husband about our son's bad behavior (caught stealing from me), he expressed that my (apparently sub-standard) parenting...lead to our son's behavior...and is a result of me being a child of an alcoholic and also being an alcoholic myself. Seriously? Yes, I've read that children of alcoholics can have all kinds of behavioral issues (including stealing) but there's no scientific evidence (as of yet). I can see where this is going....any defect in our kids is going to be related back to me somehow.

Just needed to vent. Thanks everyone.

Gotthegene, you have been doing so well. So many A/F days. I really think you are great to be able to manage it. Fair play to you.

I suppose you are going to experience cravings and you still managed to resist! Wow.

Keep the chin up. There are a lot of us in the same position here, its good to let off steam!

FallingToPieces

Gawd, I hate that label...it's so "all or nothing". I've never been comfortable hanging it on myself, though I will cheerfully admit to fitting 'most ALL the criteria that would allow other people to label me such. Yes, pity that you have to carry that mantel, another pressure you don't need

Now a (nosy) question: is DH going to be okay seeing you drinking the eggnog, etc., when the time comes? Does he understand and accept the TSM concept?

As for the craving, I, too am very influenced by the sight of beer in the frig, so I can imagine that handling all those bottles might have been a provocative...you are STRONG.