It really depends on what your long term goal is. Are you thinking of extending your 30-day moratorium into a lifetime of tee-totaling? Or, like most of the people on this board, is your idea to moderate and control your consumption? If it's the later, I think it's time to get back on the horse. For those of us with a distorted relationship with alcohol, moderate drinking is a skill that needs to be practiced. Most of us know the on-the-wagon/off-the-wagon types that oscillate between abstinence and binge. The goal for the moderate drinker is to flatten the amplitude on that wavelength.

Bunton makes a pretty good point here, Gott. I'd like to add that you shouldn't forget about the "magic" of Naltrexone --- that, utilizing the "pharmacological extinction" concept, and given enough time of repeated Nal + drinking, one's desire and interest in drinking slowly but surely extinguishes...just as water extinguishes a fire.

At your present stage, it seems there is still a small fire burning there inside you. Your capital "T", temptation, is evidence of this. Those who have joined the cured list here have no struggles with temptation! The Nal extinction process takes one to the point where you no longer think about or feel tempted or afraid to drink -- at all.

And for those who have chosen to moderate and continue drinking to some degree -- like going to the fair with friends and unflinchingly enjoying a "fun" drink or two -- enjoying, even, the accompanying buzz -- they are doing so without worry because they have taken their Nal beforehand and are: a): already cured, in which case the Nal is preventing them from getting re-addicted, or b): are having the drink(s) knowing that the pharmacological extinction process is still at work and that each drink is taking them one step closer to being cured! They are happily drinking themselves sober! That's the way this whole thing works, Gott! And the amazingly wonderful thing about this is that you can still have fun along the way!

I've been taking the Nal for about 10 weeks now. The last 10 weeks of drinking have been more enjoyable than the previous 10 YEARS of drinking! I've had only THREE hangovers in the past 10 weeks. I used to have at least 3 hangovers a week before the Nal! I'm drinking about 30% less, but the quality of my life has improved 100%!!! I used to wake up almost every day full of regret and self-loathing due to the excess drinking I had done the night before. Now...I wake up hangover free, happy, excited, even LOOKING FORWARD to 5 o'clock so that I can have a few drinks to further accelerate the extinction process....happily drinking myself sober, day by day....and IT'S WORKING!!!

Sorry for the long sermon. I hope I've been able to give you another way of looking at things. All the best to you and thank YOU for your wonderful support! I think tonight I'm going to be able to happily choose to have an AF evening --- effortlessly, thanks to TSM and Naltrexone!

Bunton and Dab, you both raise the critical question: What is my ultimate goal concerning alcohol? I've always thought it's been to be able to drink occasionally and be able to stop after 1 or 2 drinks and then not drink for several days (or weeks) until the next "occasion" occurs. Dab, you are correct in that because I'm looking at Thursday as a Temptation with a capital "T", I'm not cured and Nal hasn't yet done it for me yet.

So when I read Bunton and Dab's post, I thought maybe it is time I took a Nal and then had a glass of wine Thursday. Then I went on to read Hello237's post today...14 mos AF and feeling fantastic....and I thought to feel so good sounds really appealing. Hello237 has done the marathon and cut smoking and caffeine out as well. Clearly, I'm still wrestling with what is right for me.

Still not sure about Thursday but will keep you posted. I do appreciate the support no matter what course I take. Thanks everyone!!!

Hmmm...of course, I'm not on the Cured list, but I'm not inclined to agree w/ that. I think everyone's definition of cured pertains to their goals specifically: there are people on the Cured list that cheerfully say they still tie one on occasionally (Minneappolisnick comes to mind). And the relapsed people, who must redouble their efforts to regain control. Some people would define their feeling cured, as being able to "control" their drinking, w/o TOO much struggle...the white knuckling we've all done is gone but still some effort is involved (like not eating too many hors duerves at a party!)

As I edge closer to feeling cured myself - which I'm in no hurry to declare - I realize that there are no doubt episodes of drunkness in my future, and yet that doesn't mean I won't have been successful w/ TSM: I already feel WAY successful, w/ where I am currently As for complete, total apathy to alcohol??? I said that was my original goal, but that is no longer the Gold Standard for me; the direction I'm heading is acceptable.

Yes, I can understand your ambivalence and also is added in the factor of DH asking you if you are abstinent...if you drink Thursday will you...not mention it? Is his goal for you abstinence? That's a sticky wicket, I know. Whatever you decide, please don't then second guess it, and feel bad about yourself!!! You have a few days to decide. In this day and age, I'd be surprised if this event didn't have AF beer or wine, or there is always the tonic water w/ a lime, that looks so "normal" There will be other opportunities to test moderation in the future...but if you want to try it Thursday, just make a deal w/ yourself that whatever you do is okay! If you over do it, it was just a learning experience and you weren't ready. Been there so many, many times myself...

My point is, that as long as you continue to take your Nal before you drink, that eventually the Nal will/should work it's magic...and will totally extinguish your desire, craving, temptation to drink. So, YOU can eventually reach the state that Hello237 is in...even if you keep drinking now and then! No white-knuckling it...no fighting the big "T"....as long as you hop on the Nal-train....it will eventually take you to that place --- effortlessly! The only effort involved = take your Nal at least one hour before drinking. For some, the train arrived in only a few months. For others, it's taken longer...and yes, for some, it has not worked for whatever reason. But stay on board just now, Gott! Wait to see. Hopefully your train will arrive! We are rooting for you!!!

Take care.

Hi folks. Am here reporting on Thursday night (w/ a capital "T"). Well, I spent quite a bit of time this week wondering what I would/should do on Thursday (yesterday) when I had the chance to go to an event and socialize (work on that friendship thing). I ended up taking a Nal at 5:30 and walked to the event. I got there at 6:30 and waited for about an hour before any friends showed up. So in that time I wandered around looking at booths of goods (none of which I needed) and at the stocked bar in the middle of the room. I got 2 glasses of water and decided I was bored waiting. I would have left but I knew my friends would be coming and that would be lame of me not to stick it out. I thought that a glass of wine would make hanging out a little more bearable but then thought, given part of my relationship with alcohol has been to relieve boredom, that I shouldn't just have a glass of wine "b/c I was bored". Finally my friends showed and of course they wanted a drink. So we went up to the bar. (I'm still thinking "do I do this?") Anyway, I thought about if I was to have one drink what would I enjoy most. So I chose 1 glass of syrah. It was tasty. I sipped it for about half an hour and when finished had a glass of water. I didn't want a second glass (but then again, I've been very focused on my limit of one glass only.) Later I walked home and had some more sparkling water. When I went to bed, I almost forgot about that 1 glass of wine and concluded the evening was a good experiment. I don't want to be abstinent forever. The idea of NEVER drinking again puts too much pressure on the issue. I want to have a drink when the occasion calls for it and the drink is worth drinking (ie a good wine for the flavor....not a shot of vodka for the high).

The experiment of course continues....Will I be able to continue on in my AF lifestyle until the next occasion? Or will I start thinking about that wine now in the evenings? Only time will tell. Anyway I wanted to report back what I did and so far so good. Will plod on. Hope anyone reading this is achieving your own goal this week.

GtG, Hooray YOU!!! That's a great report...I love your stopping and thinking that you don't want to drink because you're bored, wow. SUCH a "grown up"!!!
I love that too: you went in there w/ a plan, and you stuck to it. I had a little..."rough spot" this week, because I DIDN'T make a plan for a situation. How very wise of you to not just careen up to the bar and then start thinking about "what to do?"
True that; I'd never thought about it that way, but seeing it in writing, totally agree.

Anyway, I can't imagine it turning out any better for you and appreciate hearing it. What are your plans now? Just wait for the next "event", or do another specific AF stretch?

Thanks Chrissie for your support! I feel I'm walking a bit of a tightrope here but so far haven't fallen off Yes, having a plan works when you know there is an event coming up and you can focus hard on having a strict plan. The bigger test will be when something spontaneous happens. What will I do? I hope I'll have the good sense to take a Nal and be disciplined. But what if I don't have a Nal handy? Will I have the strength to abstain? And as I get further into this, will I get too relaxed and start slipping up? These are real issues that happen to most of us. Am certainly not naive about that. Only time will tell. So I continue one day at a time. Staying on this forum certainly helps to keep me focused on what I need to do.

Friday was an AF day so feel good that 1 glass of wine didn't not throw me "off the wagon" so to speak. Regarding coming events, a number of things are happening the next few weeks.
Monday is Canadian Thanksgiving and I will be celebrating it....but since it's a home dinner, I will not include wine on the menu.
I have a dinner w/ 3 other women next Wed. One of them doesn't drink at all so I probably will join her and not drink.
Then the following Monday, there's a "mom's night out" thing. Current thinking is I won't drink then either.
We are also having friends over for dinner one night sometime this month; am thinking I will have a glass of wine during that.
On American Thanksgiving, we will be celebrating w/ just the family so probably a "dry" holiday.
Then on the first Sunday in advent, our family goes to cut down a Christmas tree with another family and we stop off at a winery for a taste testing (and often a bottle of wine w/ appetizers); so here's another event where I want to partake....do the tasting...and maybe 1 glass of wine if a bottle is purchased....and call it quits.

So those are the events and the current plans for now. Everything is subject to change(!) Wishing everyone a good weekend and to all those Canadians out there, happy Thanksgiving!

Good job Gtg!

Given the trouble alcohol has caused most of us, it's natural to think very carefully about where, when and how much we ought to consume. That said, I think part of being a successful moderate drinker is not needing to think about it. Reading through your post, I was struck by your careful, granular analysis on the pros and cons of having a glass of wine. Perhaps I'm misinterpreting the tone of your message, but it sounds like a somewhat stressful deliberation. Next time, I'd encourage you to take the Nal, relax and enjoy your glass of wine without over-thinking it. The goal, as I see it, is for the drink/no-drink decision to become completely nonchalant.

Bunton, you were correct in your analysis of my decision whether or not to have a glass of wine.....It was stressful. My father was an alcoholic and I am by no means naive about how alcohol can have an ugly grip. My dad could go several weeks w/out a drink but once he had one, just one, he was a goner.....every single time. So that has stuck w/ me; I had been 30+ days AF and I knew there's the possibility if I have one, I too could be a goner....not in the sense that I'd suddenly drink until I blacked out (I'm not that kind of alcoholic) but more that the daily habit/cravings would come back and I'd be back to white-knuckling it.

Well back then, my dad didn't have Nal nor was he doing anything else (that I know of) to prevent the alcoholism. Antibuse was available back then but he refused to take it. I do know that dad lasted almost 2 yrs once w/out a drink but then once off the wagon, he was under the wheels, etc.

Well I'm now 40 days AF (w/ that 1 glass of wine 5 days ago). Daily life w/out the wine gets a little easier and more "normal" as the days go by. I think this is a process that just takes time. I have to develop the "habit" of not drinking on a daily basis and have Nal ready when I do want to participate. Each time I do that successfully, I think I'll become more relaxed and confident that I have a handle on this thing.

Strangely enough, I've been getting more migraines though. Just getting over a 3 day migraine...had my husband drive me to my doctor's yesterday for a shot to relieve the pain. Never had to go to that extreme before. I think the St Johns Wort was negating the immitrex so nothing was working. It seems I just solve one problem and I come across another. Now must taper down the St Johns Wort so that I can deal w/ headaches when they arise. Man, everyday is a chemistry experiment!

Hope everyone is doing well out there and I hope you never ever have a migraine like I just did!