Gotthegene, how long have you been doing tsm? and how hard was it when you did a af day?

25 days AF.

Larry, it was very hard for me to have my first AF day. And in the past, if I got thru 1 AF day the second day was even harder. It wasn't until I got thru 4 AF days when I mentally challenged myself to make it one week. Then one week went to two weeks.

You are going to have to use extreme will power. Go out to a couple movies to get thru the night. Come home and take a sleeping pill to get to sleep. I found that I had to substitute something else for the alcohol (one drug for another) just to get me rolling thru the first few days. The pill alone isn't going to do it; you need will power. I'm the first to say it's tough but it's also worth it. 25 days in and my head is clearer than it has been in years. I'm more engaged with my family and my kids and I spend much more time together. My son, who has been distant from me for several years, is hanging around me and doing things with me. We're talking and developing a closer relationship. This is all great stuff. I still get cravings occasionally but take 10 mg Bac and that seems to help.

I'm now reading "Sober and Staying that Way" by Susan Powter....my latest bedtime reading. I had to check Susan out to see if she isn't another one who had a dismal ending like Audrey Kishline, but haven't discovered anything noteworthy. Anyway, looney as Susan seems to be, just reading another person's experiences and approach to sobriety (discounting AA) is helpful. She makes an interesting point drawing a comparison b/w the successes and money in the Tobacco industry and that in the Alcohol industry. Plants the idea that the reason there are so few programs to help alcoholics is that there is too much $$$ to be made by selling alcohol. Perhaps a witch hunt? Perhaps not. Anyway, each book I read gives me more to think about and broadens my perspective on alcoholism.

25 days AF, I'm getting a bit more used to going thru the evenings without alcohol. I like waking up with zero chance of a hangover. I'm starting to have more energy during the day and seem to be tackling more projects at home....not too many more....but am not waving things off so readily.

Anyway, it's still one day and a time here. Looking to that 30 day goal and will take it from there.

Hang in there everyone!

Wonderful progress Gott! Certainly a great inspiration to me, and I'm sure to others. I can't wait to be finally free....(my goal is total abstinence).

Take care and KOKO!

Inspirational! Thank you for the update:)

Dysthymia....that's what I'm dealing with...A mild chronic depression that I've had probably since a teenager. Reading more about it, seems that alcohol is an attractive drug to make us feel better. Check. That's me. Really depressed today, stone sober. Ya, a drink would have been the highlight today...and yesterday for that matter. I ended up watching the Daily Show which gave me a laugh at least.

More or less finished the Susan Powter book....Can't remember when I've read such a poorly written, empty book. There were probably only about 20 pages with any real content. Hardly worth picking up (got it at the library); what ever you do, don't waste your money buying it. She must have been paid by the word.

Going to bed now. Nothing else to do. Hope folks are having a more interesting/fun day than am I.

I've had the exact same condition, Gott, since I was a child. I've described it best as being in a constant state of Melancholy. Indeed, alcohol does relieve it. Anti-depressants, like "Remeron" (Mirtazapine), pretty much cured me of that, which is why I continue to take a very low dosage to this day. The way that I see it, it's one LESS thing for me to have to have as part of the MIX that lies at the root of my alcoholism, and that's what we ALL need....less issues to deal with because our drinking is big enough all by itself!

I hope you have a better day today. Humour and laughter is good....there have been many, many days when I have forced myself to find something humorous to enjoy, be it a good comedy movie, or just some good jokes or YouTube shorts gleaned off the net.

Hang in there, we're rooting for you!!!! ((((hugs)))))

Hi Dab,
Now don't take this the wrong way, but are you a dog??? I did a search on mertazapine and the first page I looked at talked about mertazapine being used to help, "anorexia and behavioral disorders in dogs and cats"...

Seriously however, I was on an antidepressant for 5 years (originally to combat postpartum depression) but went off it in February b/c I thought I can't be on this drug forever....Well, maybe I'll need to rethink that. I realize now that I've always been pretty much depressed but have combated it by signing myself up for things, like doing theater for 9 years. One period of severe depression, I forced myself to go to the gym 5-6 times/week and that saved me.

My extra curriculars ended 13 yrs ago when I started a family. I discovered wine with dinner and that became my highlight. Now I realize I need to find those other activities again. I realize too that I have not made much of an effort to make friends since I moved to the area...so the isolation also impacts the intensity of the depression.

I think it was Curi who wrote to just let the feelings be and experience them; that they will pass. But I know this depression thing can stick around a long time. Any way, pardon the "self-discovery" log here. Hopefully my experiences give something for others to think about.

goth Mirtazapine is a anit -depresent not a dog pill. i take lamictol for Dysthymia. i pm you i hope it will help you out. cheer up budy you will be fine

Just to be clear, yes, I do know mertazapine is an anti-depressant. My comment about a "dog" pill was meant as a joke....but for real I did see a page suggesting it's also used for dogs and cats...

After just getting off 5 years of an anti-depressant, I'm not overly keen to start again. In the meantime, I've started taking St John's Wort and hope to get a referral for a therapist on Friday when I see my marriage counselor (lord, a lot of counselors). If I have to go back on medication, I will....Just want to see if I can make some lifestyle changes first and see if that helps at all.

Was another "depressed" day. Took much effort to be motivated about anything. I'd say that's 4 "depressed" days in a row this week. I guess this is something else to keep track of in my journal.

KOKO everyone!

Sounds like your approach to things is very sensible, Gott. At least we have the anti-depressants available to us if we need them eh?

WOOF...er...I meant good luck!