My 2cents? A few yrs. back I was an almost daily drinker. Something shifted before TSM. I drink now when something has triggered me off or pissed me off. The week I 1st started program 6-11, I thought I needed to drink everything in sight. So I drank like a bastard. Then realized I didn't need to do that. I am waay better since TSM! Can only gauge by the bindges being a lot less. Never carry a bindge into AM. Never could. Everyone is different & we all understand how you feel. We've all been there. We've all called people when hammered. We've all posted half in the bag. Don't feel too bad. Just take your' bennie when you are suppose too & try to not analize or obsess. Easy to say, I know. I'm may be one of THE biggest obsessors out there! So ZN, look ahead, not behind. It's over. Forgive yourself.
WE ALL UNDERSTAND
BEST TO YOU
KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!!
ALWAYS, JANE

ZN don't give your post last night a second thought. When I read it it didn't sound like you. We can all be so hard on ourselves. You and I started around the same time along with mlb back in July. Look back at bob3d and Q's charts. When you look at them at 14 weeks you couldn't even tell anything was happening. Their big drops in drinking occured after 15 weeks. As a daily drinker I'm getting more extinction sessions than you and that may be why my units are down 58% (oddly enough mlb is down 59%). I started out as a binge drinker when I was younger and became a daily drinker. In some ways I think the binge drinker has it harder than the daily drinker. There is more volatility. Alcohol deprivation affect doesn't built to frantic levels in the daily drinker because they drink every night. With a binger the ADE builds as you go AF and then something's got to give. Have you gone back and read Loop's old posts? He ended up using baclofen to get his drinking to stop and then has continued extinction with NAL. Everyone must follow their own path. Hang in there.

And say for example, a drinking buddy you hadn't seen for a while came to town and wanted to go drinking., would you drink a lot in that instance or would you find it too difficult?

Cheers.

Thanks St Vincent and Jane. The support is great, I was very tempted to go to AA tonight, instead I'm going drinking I was agressively drunk last night, first time since I started TSM. I will read back on the posts you suggested and will keep you posted!

I agree aswell that been a daily drinker has its advantages. I have no doubt that last nights binge was a by-product of me trying to go sober until Xmas. SO unless today is Xmas, I managed to last 2 days

Sunday night I went for a drink with my flatmate and had three beers.

Monday I met some friends at a bar near my place to chat about some business stuff and hang out - one beer. I didn't want any more and there was no mental wrestling, I just had a coke when they got the next round and went home early.

I went out for a drink with an old drinking buddy last night (Tuesday). He wanted to kick on but I said I would prefer to get something to eat and chat, so we did that instead.

Beer one was okay, I didn't want it but it was still pleasant hanging out in a bar with cool people eating peanuts and shooting the ****. Beer number two had nails in it and was a struggle, done to placate my friend more than anything else. Beer number three was ordered at dinner and left un-drunk after the first sip.

I got home by 9, did some work, drank a bunch of water and went to bed.

Even if I wanted to I couldn't drink more, I physically can't. Like I said though: I don't want to drink more. I enjoy a beer... as in one beer... after that the booze starts tasting like puke.

I know it's difficult for you to imagine now but there will come a time when you no longer want to drink, more than that the act of drinking will no longer provide any pleasure or relief. That's when the real work begins because you have to find other ways to cope with life and bond with other adults.

Yeah it is hard to imagine, but I'll just keep going. I like that last line, its true that removing Al will remove some of the problems, but will also mean I have to find new ways to cope.

peace,

ZN

Z9,

If it makes you feel any better, I've had similar thoughts - well maybe not the part about being deceived But I struggle with whether it's better to try to abstain and only drink when I "fall off the wagon" or whether I should indulge my cravings. It doesn't help when you are feeling like crap during or after a binge. I guess I keep coming back to my lack of success with abstinence. If it worked that would be great but it doesn't consistently. I'm trying to give TSM a chance, it may not work for all of us but the odds are pretty darn good! Thanks for your honesty even if it was alcohol-induced venting. I feel like I'm not so alone in occasionally losing the faith. No need to erase the thread. This seems like it is a real part of going through the process for some of us... Take care, BTDT

Hey - zeor nine please don't delete your post - it has great value simply because you were questioning. Lucky for you TSM has the answer.

The answer is: naltrexone + one hour + drink + PATIENCE = cure

So many who are on here are newbies who desperately want to be cured NOW. It's not going to happen like that for most of you. Please just realize that. You will notice either subtle changes over time and your cure will sneak up on you, or your drinking will change to the point where you are in more control than you've ever had and that will be your success.

I'm a living witness that this does work, and it does get better as the months go by. Keep questioning, keep reading, and keep taking your naltrexone!

I agree Z9, don't delete the post. Doubt -- especially angry, hammered doubt -- is a natural part of TSM. It is good for people to know what it is really going to be feel like in those times, and I think it helps people to know that the are not alone in their doubts.

Nice results DOMD. Are the figures in your signature average weekly figures for each month?

Thanks.

I am perfectly open to the possibility that naltrexone and TSM are not the magic cure-all solutions they are sometimes made to be. It is entirely possible that TSM truly works and "cures" only a subset of users (maybe even a small subset).

That said, few things:
1. Naltrexone does help in limiting drinking in various protocols. That's pretty well established.
2. Conscious commitment to therapy is by itself a huge factor in dealing with addiction. That's common knowledge, too.
3. Many already provided their anecdotes, so I'll provide mine: from years with not a single AF day to some AF days every week and a stable at least 4-fold reduction in the daily amounts. Not bad, IMO.

But if you don't see any improvements whatsover, you should try other things. You may even be lucky to be in that 5% that gets helped by AA. Others seem to have a success with baclofen or acamprosate, with or without naltrexone.