Yesterday was my last day of week 6.

Unitwise, it was excellent- I drank 14 beers, 1 cider and 2 small brandies all week.

I had 3 AF days.

However annoyingly, I also had 2 bad hangovers! I have come to realize if I drink quickly with Nal I can expect to get a hangover the next day. On Monday I only had 3 beers and a glass of cider, (250ml) between 8.00 PM and 10.30 PM, so I was hardly slamming them down, but this was enough to give me a hangover the next day. This is a bit irksome as pre-nal I would not get a hangover on this. However it doesn’t seem to be how many I drink, but rather how fast- if I drink 5 but spaced out over 4 hours, I am OK. Other factors may come into play too of course, such as how much one has eaten etc.

As others have reported this week I too have had a day or two feeling down- strangely today I feel pretty low, although I didn’t drink anything yesterday. I am not putting to much importance on this- it might be the Nal, but more than likely it has nothing to do with it- I just need a lottery win or a cruise to the Bahamas to cheer me up

I was checking my progress sheet today when replying to a post on MWO, and saw I did not have an AF day until the last day of week 4.
During week 5, I had 2 AFs, and last week I had 3, so it is an upward trend. I am not really trying hard to have AF days, but I do find if I say to myself in the morning “Today will be AF,” I manage to stick to it without any problems, even when triggers come up during the day- I don’t really give it any more thought.

Pre-Sinclair I NEVER managed that.

You're doing great! I haven't noticed any difference in how I feel the next day whether I've pounded down the beers, or spaced them out over many hours. What I do notice is that my dreams are getting more vivid (and scary) with every passing day. Very bizarre -- I'm guessing that's the result of not numbing my brain before going to sleep. Consequently, I seem to be waking up with less energy (exhausted from the busy night) each morning. Today it was particularly difficult to get moving. This is a side-effect that's very annoying, in that it's starting to affect my work performance (I'm usually super energetic, now I find myself zoning out, and consequently not getting as much accomplished during the day). I noticed you've made the conscious decision not to drink when the day starts, and in doing so, are successful. I posted a question to Dr. Epaska asking whether imposing "self-regulation" - whether that be deliberately choosing not to drink even though you know you "want it" -- or deliberately drinking less than you might "want" to drink while using Naltrexone will have any impact on long term success. I thought I read something you wrote about that in your posts, but don't know where. If you know the answer, let me know, ok?

Take care and continue the inspirational postings!

Nice one Marbella, very nice . You're getting there . Lead on !

Netty

I didn't notice any difference hangover wise until around the beginning of week 5 I think. I overdid it one night, then had the expected hangover the next day, and did what I have done for the past four or five years- I went for the hair of the dog. This always works for me unless I am really really hungover. Well that day, it made me far sicker than I had been- the hangover wasn't too bad to start with, but the hair of the dog made it vile.

Since then, if I drink slowly I am fine regardless of the units, but if drink quickly the hangovers are far more than usual, and the hair of the dog DOES NOT work anymore- it just makes me really sick.

I also experienced some weird dreams at the beginning, I think they lasted about 2 weeks, but now my dreaming is as normal, so hopefully that will pass for you too.

As for making the conscious decision, that has been something I noticed from about 10 days ago- not only for AF days, but if I thought in the morning "I will have 2 beers tonight because I have to work late" or whatever, I seemed to be able to stick to that plan without giving it any more thought. I then found I could also do it with AF days- I don't kind of set it in stone- I mean some days situations arise that are triggers and it may happen that I tell myself I will be AF, and later I might have 5 drinks, but so far that hasn't happened. As I am aware that it might, my morning plan is not something I try too much to adhere to, it just surprises me that I have been able to stick to whatever I decide early on in the day without any trouble.

So far since I started if I 'want it'- I have it. Partly because I can't stop myself during those times anyway- and partly because as I understand the program we are to drink when we get an urge as we always have done in the past.

However, gradually, the times that I want it are becoming less and less, so I just simply don't have it. I have not battled to fight any urges, I don't think we should be doing that- if the urges are strong and definitely there, have the drink. If they are not so strong, and I can take it or leave it, then I do leave it when possible, simply for the sake of my liver and to save some calories:)

(I don't think we should fight the real urges as that can lead to the Alcohol Deprivation Syndrome Dr. Eskapa mentions in his book- thus eventually making us drink more).

I hope you have been able to understand that- let me know if it is not clear and i will try to clarify!

Yes Elfern, Thank You, bit by bit!

Not everyday is a bed of roses- but as the weeks go by the progress becomes more apparent- I can also feel myself changing in other ways, and all for the best.

I find I am thinking of other people more- before all I really cared about was where my next drink was coming from, but I find myself being more considerate these days. I had not realised how selfish I was being, but I am now seeing I have been quite self-centred- I suppose that is part of the condition, but I don't feel too proud of it.

My house is cleaner these days, my dogs are better groomed, and I think I probably smell nicer- and that is just for starters

Being in the thick of addiction is a very self centred way of living . i bet alot here know that and it adds on coats of shame . Although we can struggle against that it's never really effective til we start seeing away out and get back energy and become simply available again to others . What a sad waste , sooner the addiction disolves the better . Any durable period of abstinence sets us righter but has such tough streaks . So it's so nice to have another plan now.
I'm havin the roughest day so far . Really wobbly, had that horrible feeling i'd go on a bender .Bad circs and mood ,urges ,the works conspired to make me take up the soup at lunchtime . it has ,at least, been a slower drawn out imbibe which I've managed to hit on the head . So even this is way better than
pre sinc.

Elfern-

My progress has been dotted with those types of days too- but it seems after one of them, you kind of seem to do a quantum leap, once you manage to get over the binge/hangover things seem to get better. Then after a while you have another bad day and take another step up...soooh- it seems maybe we should welcome these seemingly bad days- although they are very frustrating and you feel disappointed at the time, in the long run they do seem to extinguish something.

Yes Marb & Elfern. . .I've also noticed a nearly 'bi-polar' aspect of this process - and I am definitely not bi-polar by nature. I have days when I feel extremely joyful and optimistic, and then the occasional day when it's all I can do to drag myself out of bed. Fortunately there are more of the former than the latter!

The dreaming thing is to be expected, as I understand from the book. While my dreams haven't been exactly nightmares, they're not generally pleasant, and very, very vivid. It definitely is affecting my sleep. I often wake about 4 a.m. (when darling SO gets up for work), drift back to sleep, wake again around 5:30, drift off again, and then wake up for good around 7:45. I have my most vivid dreams during these times, and twice now I woke at 7:45 (or so), decided to roll over for 'just a few more minutes,' and slept in till 10 a.m. - dreaming the whole while. TG I work from home, and manage my own schedule!

Marbella, your reports are always very encouraging. I also very much appreciate how forthcoming everyone on this MB seems to be. God bless us all!

Marby,
You are my sister here. You are doing so well. We have to remember to look at the big picture and not the hour. Nal never said we wouldn't have bad days and you know that. You are moving forward and I am with you.

Yesterday was the last day of week 7 for me.

I had 17 drinks, (which is usually a 12oz beer, or occasionally 250ml of cider).

The drinks total was the same as the previous week, although the previous week I had 3 AF days, and last week only one at the beginning of the week. For the last 6 days I haven't fancied attempting an AF- I think that is probably due to stress I have with the business.

The good thing is I haven't drunk more than 3 drinks on any given day, the previous week (6) I still had a day or two where I drank 5 drinks, so all in all I am still very happy.

I estimate my craving as being slightly higher this week.