Good morning. It's been about 2 weeks since I started and about 6 drinking experiences. I have definitely noticed a huge difference! Miracle actually. I do notice that I am very angry and terse as of late. I think a lot of that has to do with spending 20 years in Alcoholics Anonymous on and off and losing all of those friends at some point or another. The most recent friend that I lost was one that I had met early on in 1999 in an AA meeting. He dropped me as a friend about 6 months ago when I had a relapse after 14 months of abstinence. I told him that it was insanity going back to AA again since it has never worked for me and even used the definition of insanity that steppers love to use, "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results", however, evidently, that does not apply to going back to AA over and over again. But, then why would I expect anything but circuitous logic and slogans in any attempt at an adult discussion. So he basically said, "I can no longer cosign your bullshit and that was the end. Six months later when I sent him the article about the Irrationality of AA along with information on the Sinclair Method, he refused to even read it and snidely sent me a one sentence response which was "whatever works in your life." 17 years of friendship and the man has only seen me drink twice - he was and is a major sex addict.

At any rate, since starting The Sinclair Method, I have noticed an immediate change. I do not want to go on a bender. I am not able to get drunk like I used to once I start drinking. My consumption has decreased by 1/2 and I sober up very quickly once I stop drinking. The thought of red wine is already becoming repulsive. Yesterday, I did drink more than usual but did nothing stupid like I normally would. I also noticed that I was able to sober up right away when I stopped and did not insist on going out all night like I usually would do. It's challenging to say anything obnoxious - it just doesn't come out of my mouth. It's ineffable how to describe the whole change. I just feel so hopeful that this albatross will and is being taken care of. I don't feel like I am playing Russian Roulette every time I decide to drink. As I mentioned in the beginning, now that I don't feel the intense euphoria, I am present to my feelings and surroundings and often anger is one of those feelings that I normally would drink away into "fantasy" land.

I also notice others are drunker than me and it's so odd to see. I have always been drunker and more obnoxious. Wow, what a change.

I would say that the biggest change so far is the interception of a major bender. I am a binge type drinker and can go well into the early hours of the morning. That has not happened over the last couple of weekends while using naltrexone. The circumstances and amount I drank would have normally triggered the absence of any "off switch" and I would have been off to the races. However, I just felt somewhat tired and ready to call it a night. I enjoyed the buzz which was a more relaxing and calming feeling like I would imagine normal drinkers feel. Usually alcohol felt like an "upper" and I understand now it's because my endorphins and dopamine were bouncing off the charts. I also notice that I don't even like the taste of wine, beer or alcohol. It's always been about the "chasing the buzz" and telling myself that I loved a good wine. After a couple of glasses, I just get buzzed and don't even care what I'm drinking if I am honest. Yesterday, I drank mostly Vodka martinis with a lemon twist. It was a beautiful day and we went to brunch. I also notice that it's all about the ambience too. Sitting outside in beautiful weather watching everyone have cocktails and feeling the breeze and looking at the pretty bar and bartenders. However, everything was taken down many notches! I couldn't "whip up" a "heaven" and it was actually just what I described. A beautiful day without the endorphins amping it up 10 fold. A sunset is actually just a sunset, if that makes sense.

So that's where I am at so far. Like others I have seen post here, I did worry a bit yesterday because I was definitely craving the drinks and had 7 throughout the day (4 martinis and 3 glasses of chard.) in a 6 hour span. I also secretly drank a shot of Jameson from the freezer because they don't start serving alcohol until 11am at the brunch place we would be attending. That also worried me because that's typical behavior. But, I am following the directions and just doing what I would normally do. I had taken the pill as prescribed. The day ended at 5pm and I actually did laundry, cleaned the house, ate take out with my spouse and was in bed by 9:30 pm. No hangover today. No blacking out, no wasted and sloppy and continuing the party until the bars closed! None of this happened and this was probably my most "alcoholic" day since starting Naltrexone only 2 weeks ago. I am happy to say that it is really working immediately! I am definitely one of those people who has not enjoyed the out of control chaos for years. All those years sitting in AA rooms with fanatics and nasty people and then discovering this "one little pill." Yikes, it's like waking up from a bad dream and suddenly coming to and the world seems different somehow. And, I wonder how the addiction industry and so many intelligent, wise people can just ignore something so simple. It truly is a case of "The Emperor Has No Clothes" with the whole 12 step industry of treating a brain disease with a crazy religious cult. So many feelings to sort through. At least I finally feel vindicated and sane not giving into the 12 step insanity fully!

Thanks for listening. Any responses would be appreciated. Have a great week.

Darris.

Darris:

So glad to hear about your progress. Do be aware that it is "early days" and many folks experience a honeymoon period. For some TSM seems a magic bullet but at least here on this forum I think those are few and far between. Most of us are finding that the road is a bit harder, that the Nal is a great tool but we also have a lot of work to do on our own.

I know what you mean about the ambiance........I love the whole leisurely, vacationy feeling that AL has come to represent......the martini glass, the feeling of good times coming, etc. etc.

What you wrote about your friend is really dumbfounding. I have never tried AA, sounds awful to me. But for someone to give up on a 17 year friendship just because you are choosing a different path than his? Very hurtful. Over the last several years I have also been dealing with the loss of a 30 year friendship, not over AL but over something very minor in my eyes (Never do business with friends!), and it is extremely hurtful. One thing it has taught me though is that true friends and really rare and to be prized.

Anyway, welcome to the forum and keep posting. I am finding the feedback of the others here invaluable and I am very grateful for it.

Nal ON!! Newlife

Darris,
Congratulations on your early changes and your insight. It's hard to believe that someone would be so blockheaded as to not even read the articles you gave him on Naltrexone. But then, I think in many cases AA is only changing drugs for people. Going to meetings for the rest of my life sounds oppressive. And I never could get into those slogans. It's quite a myth they have built up for themselves.

I, too, am experiencing some changes. I'm on day 41, and last night had two glasses of wine and stopped. I was out of wine to be honest, but in the past, I would drink anything. I would pour warm beer over ice, drink Scotch which I loathe, or figure out a way to get to a bar that serves on Sunday. I was content playing Scrabble and going to bed early. I feel like today might be my first AF day.

What a monkey off our backs, huh?
Othila

Thanks for the replies, Newlife and Othila. When you refer to having to do some of the work ourselves, what does that mean? Having a goal for the end result? I would like to become a normal drinker and perhaps join a moderation group in Chicago. I don't believe I want to be abstinent and am hoping that I will eventually just become a normal drinker. Today I had off and drank a glass and a half of chard from 10am until now. I dumped down the rest and threw the bottle away. I just grew tired of it although I did catch a buzz. It just didn't make sense to me although I would normally just drink all day. That's a good sign. I want to work out later and be productive with my day off.

Are there any support groups for moderation or harm reduction where people actually meet in person? Eventually once my "brain changes", will I likely just not be into drinking and this won't even be an issue whereby support is needed? What would you suggest (and anyone who is reading this post) as doing my part in the work "beyond the little pill?" Thanks for input and guidance.

Rick

I hope others will chime in as my reply is only my opinion!

I think what it means is to make attempts along the way to engage in other activities and relationships. So, even as you continue to drink and take the pill, try to get back into exercise, cooking, gardening, old friends, reading...whatever makes your heart beat a little faster. I think it means you can't take the pill and lie on the couch every day, thinking that something magical will happen with the rest of your life as your brain reprograms itself.

My experience has been interesting. I am 62 years old. I experienced some AUD along the way but was always able to catch it and I did not get compulsive about drinking until about 4 years ago. I had bariatric surgery 6 years ago and when I began drinking about a year after surgery, my compulsion developed rather quickly. For about two years (as I retired from a 30+ year teaching career) my drinking got "out of hand". I let other things in my life go...reading, gardening, cooking, friends. Even my relationship suffered. About 18 months ago, I realized what was happening and as I tried other ways to heal, I started recapturing the things I loved to do. It was difficult though, through the hangovers and the remorse regarding drinking. Now, as I make progress with Naltrexone, I am doing a better job of enjoying the things in my life besides drinking. My garden has never looked better. I have painted and organized our home. I have enjoyed social events that used to be impossible because I would get too drunk. I am started a Third Thursday potluck gathering for friends. I have a part-time job as a hostess at a nice restaurant in town. I am reading (and remembering) again.

This makes sense to me. Today may be my first AF day in quite a while and I have plans to plant herbs, go to the gym, make a nice dinner, and sit on the patio as the sun goes down. Wine doesn't seem to fit into that plan today.

Hi Darris

I'm a long-timer on here and had great success with TSM.

When I use "do the work" I use it to mean that you yourself have to be responsible for the amounts you drink. There is a human component to drinking, and it is possible to carry on drinking at the old rate, or close to it over and above TSM. I often say that taking the pill won't stop you from putting the glass to your mouth if you still do it.

Most people require lifestyle changes to be made in order to find success with TSM. Naltrexone is a vehicle to help you get to where you want, but you are driving the car.

Whilst I agree with much of Othila's post on the same subject, I would clarify that it's not necessarily about taking up lots of hobbies or filling your life with non-al activities.

It can be about simply not drinking and using techniques to reduce intake to get you out of the ingrained habit. I used things that had helped me stay AF in the past. For example I would decide to go to bed early in order to avoid drinking, or mentally decide I was locked in the house, not going to the shop, put my pajamas on, went to bed with a DVD or the radio. I'd put the player on a chair next to the bed and lull myself to sleep. At a certain point I also decided I didn't want to go out all night and would leave events early. Making sure I was always well rested, warm, not hungry also helped. Allowing myself space to do nothing was also important because it's a lot more productive than anything I did pissed (drunk). Recognising I don't want a drink, don't need one in my hand, not being afraid to say "No thank you".

I regularly cause discomfort when out socially all because I won't even have a fruit juice - when you don't drink alcohol you start to realise that you don't actually need to be pouring any liquid constantly and can have a good conversation without any vessel in front of you!

I went to a gig last week, had a sports drink before I went out and didn't feel the need to even have a glass of water until I got home. It certainly made dancing a lot easier.

Darris:

So far (I'm in Week 8), every time I have had an AF day I have sort of had to "force it". I've had to decide that I wasn't going to drink that day, and some days were easier than others. Sometimes I still had anxiety, but at least with the nal it is sometimes possible for me where before the nal it seemed I would always try and fail.

I'm also working on just obtaining clarity for myself on what my goals actually are. Like you, I started out wanting to be a moderate drinker. But I've had to ask myself, what does that mean? And I recognize that it could change too as this journey goes on. Right now my goals (not saying this apply to anyone other than me) are: max of 10 drinks a week, at least 3 AF days a week, no more than 4 drinks on any one day. I am still pretty far from them, but they are what I aspire to and I am getting closer. Today is the end of my week, so I haven't posted my results for this week yet, but I expect them to be my lowest ever.

I hope this helps. Newlife

UK,
You have a lot more experience than I do at this so I am only speaking as a beginner. I thought about this as I worked in my garden and I think, for me, it's not about filling my life up with hobbies either. It's more about getting back to things that bring me joy. I ignored those things for a while as alcohol crept up on me. Now, it's easier to say no to drinking when I can recall how much fun it is to dig in the dirt. It's about the things that make my life rich. I'm too new at this to do any white knuckling at this point. A time will come I hope, when I can once again be responsible for how much I drink...if I drink at all. For now, feeling joy at transplanting cone flowers and trading them for trillium with a neighbor is a fine substitute!
I appreciate so much that folks who are experienced at this, and have had success, stick around to share what they have learned. It's invaluable.
T.

Ah, yes. Being able to appreciate life for what it is, simple things which make you not want to hang a cloud of booze over them.

Yes...so true. Thanks, UK! I watched the sun set tonight! Usually don't see that.