Whether we are not the same or not, TSM often takes 6-12 months to reach success point, and drinking can go all over the place at various points in that time.

I always say if you can go abstenant with TSM then do it, if not then if you are going to drink anyway you might as well take the pill 1 hour before just incase at some point it does work.

I had a 'spike' 2 months in when I had 16 units in one night(still just about half pre tsm but it was a lot!) and was really ill on a day when I really needed not to be ill(perhaps that was also the trigger!).

Sorry it's feeling hopeless at the moment, you have gotten this far and I truly hope you continue.

I'm aware my post might have diminished how you are feeling right now Snapdragon. If so I am sorry.

You sound frustrated and disappointed.

Thanks everyone - it really helps to listen to your opinions and experiences. Just to clarify - I won't be giving up. I am sticking with this religiously 1 pill + 1 hour. It just feels a bit disheartening sometimes (and I know that is ridiculous as I'm only 4 weeks in - but I have to be honest with myself and my journey. You never know, maybe I will be on the 'cured' list in coming months and my low points will be an encouragement to others. I hope so). UK Blonde - I really appreciate your feedback and the reminder of how long it can take - I think all of us on this journey need this constant reminder.

Cheeto - you're a bit further ahead than me, but it's good to share our journey.

Guapo - thanks for sharing your story. I think you are right about 'changing mindset' I could imagine myself carrying on drinking to sky high levels as it's so easy to do, even after a Nal. I had one AF night this week and it reminded me how good it feels to wake up feeling refreshed in the morning and not hungover. It was great to not wake at 4am drenched in sweat and feeling ashamed of smelling like a stale brewery too. I think that if I can force one AF night a week it will help me to stick with my goal.

Have a good weekend everyone

SD, those made free by TSM, have one thing in common, they believed in it, and kept at it til successful .

Just a quick update - but not much to report on TSM really. 40 drinks this week which is high still, but no where near as much as my pre-TSM 58-60 a week. I haven't drunk at that level at all since TSM. I haven't had an AF day this week, but I did have one day where I drank 1 glass of wine only and another where I drank 3. To me that is a huge step as actually it is generally easier for me to have an AF day (forced) than to drink moderately.

I had the most embarrassing (and very painful) experience last night - and once you hear my story, you'll probably find it hard to believe I wasn't off my face with wine . Hubby and I were going to the theatre and decided to get something to eat first at the pub nearby. He ordered the food at the bar and we sat with our drinks (I had a glass of wine, which I sipped slowly). After half an hour our food still hadn't arrived so I said that I would go to the bar and ask where it was. I walked towards the bar and the next thing there was an almighty crash and I was laying flat out on the floor in agony! I hadn't noticed that there was a slight 2 inch step down in the floor near to the bar and my leg buckled straight under me. I could have died with embarrassment as a crowd gathered round to see if I was OK. Consequently, today I have a very swollen ankle, a bruise the size of a football on my hip and a sprained wrist. Luckily I was wearing jeans and flat boots - if I had on heels I probably would have broken my leg.

Anyway - I am so glad that I wasn't drunk! (I had only had half of my glass of wine) Usually I would have downed at least three by that point. I had to keep reminding myself that it didn't happen because I was drunk - makes a change!

Great to hear everyone is doing so well. I keep reading through all of your progress threads and feel very positive vibes from you all. Have a lovely weekend. Snap xxx

oops - sorry to hear about your tumble Snap, hope you're not too bruised! I'm not sure whether not being drunk makes it better or worse though

it sounds like you're doing well with TSM - keep up the good work

-badger

Hi snap, sorry about your fall but glad it wasn't cause you were drunk and it was your fault for stumbling, stupid step eh!
Hope you heal fast and happy to see you are doing so well, keep it up girl!!!!

Wow, yeah, that would have been really embarrassing if you'd been intoxicated. Glad you're more or less okay.

Harm Reduction !!!

Friday update. No AF days this week and my number is still up - however, I did have a Christmas party yesterday. Actually, I was quite pleased as I met up with a group of friends in London at 4pm. We spent several hours browsing through the Christmas market and had a couple of glasses of mulled wine. We then had a meal and shared a couple of bottles of wine (approx 5 glasses each over the course of the evening leaving at 11.30pm). I noticed that I was drinking my wine quicker than everyone else - but rather than reaching for the bottle and re-filling my glass, I waited until everyone else finished theirs before topping us all up. By the end of the evening I really didn't want any more. It was also great to get the train home at midnight and not be feeling at all drunk - boy the train was filled with loud, raucous people on their way home from Christmas parties. There was one middle aged women, who looked quite well-to-do who had had far more than a skinful and threw up all over the platform and was sitting on the floor with friends trying to help her out. So glad not to be in that position - truly gross!

Guapa - have read your posts about moderation management and think that this is going to be the way forward for me. Obviously with Christmas round the corner this is a challenging time to start trying to moderate but I have a couple of plans.

First - having read the article you highlighted, I think that I will try allowing myself two glasses of wine in the evening. I won't have the first until I eat and if I still feel like a drink after the second glass of wine I will have a ginger beer. If I then want more wine after this then I won't deprive myself to start with, but hope that after a week or two I simply won't want more (I'm hoping that this approach will take the white knuckling element away).

I know I need to start forcing at least one AF day a week - I'm just so weak willed. Interestingly, I spoke to one of my friends last night (at our Christmas get together) and she mentioned that in the last six months she has cut back her drinking dramatically and now only drinks when she goes out. She said that she had come to realise that she was alcohol dependent and was drinking a bottle of wine at home almost every night. She white knuckled and said that she found it really hard for the first few weeks, but gradually got used to the concept of not drinking at home any more. She has lost loads of weight and looks great. One down point though, she said that when she goes out now, she tends to binge drink. I cowardly didn't mention TSM or my own journey to her - I'm not sure why, but I think I feel ashamed and a bit vulnerable at the moment. Maybe once I have a success story I will feel more comfortable sharing.

Anyway - happy weekend everyone. Snap xxx