So true!

Last night was an interesting night for me. I had friends over for dinner. My friend loves to party and drink and our husbands have a couple of drinks but T. and I drink on and on. My husband was out of town last night so it was T., her husband, and T's sister. I had made the mix for margs because T. loves them but she opted for wine with appetizers by the pool. I had wine, as well. She finished off about 3/4's of a bottle of wine (we were all drinking different types) and then asked for an after dinner margarita. Ordinarily, after about three glasses of wine I would have been all in to keep drinking, but last night I had absolutely no desire. What amazed me is that she didn't care if anyone else had one and I almost felt like I should have one, too, because she was. After they left and I was cleaning up there was about a quarter of a bottle left of two different types of wine. I tossed all but the pinot grigio which I corked to make halibut scampi with tonight. One year ago, I would have polished off the remains of each bottle and possibly had a bailey's before bed. I felt a little bleary eyed this morning after only three glasses of wine so my tolerance is way down. Small steps, grasshopper, small steps.

I am trying to track again and I do think that helps a lot. I am trying to establish the habit of getting up, brushing my teeth, and then writing down what I had to drink the night before.

Dee:

This is VERY big news!!! I'm right there with you, my tolerance is way down as well, which I don't really like but what can you do. I feel like I should be rewarded for my good behavior but instead I'm still being punished even though I am better.

I know what you mean about the polishing off the bottles when cleaning up, been there done that myself a thousand times. But I dont do it anymore either.

We ARE getting somewhere.

xoxo Newlife

Newlife, I realized today that I am glad that my tolerance is down. I think that I would have had the after dinner margarita just to be sociable if I hadn't thought about all I had to do today and how I knew I would feel this morning if I did. There was a time, of course, when there would have been no thought of tomorrow. Life really is better.

Excellent, Dee!

I so often would have to go back and count the empties the next day (turned into 2 or 3 days later oftimes) that I finally got into the habit of updating my spreadsheet before going to bed.

Very glad to hear you're seeing some progress, keep at it!

Deena - that sounded so encouraging with your dinner party evening - like you and Newlife, I too would have been finishing the bottles off. I know that things are going slowly for both of you - but they are moving! And Newlife - you made me laugh - you said that you were being punished for good behaviour - did you mean because your tolerance is down? LOL That is PROGRESS! Not punishment. I am glad that both of you are seeing progress though - it is frustrating when it isn't as fast as we had hoped though. Hang in there!

HUGS, Maggie x

Yeah...proud of you for hangin in there.

It has been over a year since I posted and over two years since I started TSM. Things are pretty much the same. I have my drinking ups and my drinking downs. I drink roughly half of what I used to, but alcohol still has a pull on me. I believe that mindfulness and the support of some friends has been very helpful. Frankly, I think I am one of the people for whom TSM does not work. I keep myself from drinking to the point where I get a buzz and then want to continue drinking. If I do go past that point, I want to drink on, even with the nal.

I have read that some people say that they feel that the people for whom nal does not work are either not compliant or do not want to stop. For me, neither could be further from the truth. In two years I have taken the nal each and every time I have had alcohol and I have always waited the full hour. One time I had a sip of beer before realizing I had not had a nal. I went to the bathroom, spit out the beer, chewed a nal, and waited an hour to drink it. That was my only slip up in two years.

This forum was such a great source of support when I started and I made some good friends here who have been constant sources of support and encouragement in the last two years. I did not find the kind of judgement free support on the other forum, although I think it is a wonderful spot of information about TSM. I stopped posting here because I did not feel that my experience was in any way encouraging to others. I think that often a person new to TSM who posts here is looking for nothing more than to know that they are not alone and they have some cheerleaders in their corner. I hope that continues.

I am considering giving up nal and watching my intake very carefully to see what happens. I am still wishing everyone all the best.

Thanks for popping in and giving us an update, Deena!

About how much are you drinking these days, Deena? You might consider a short run of 100mg, my own doc said some need less than 50mg while some need up to 100 (or more). Also, do you wait until you actually crave a drink to take the Nal?

Joe, I no longer log my drinks, but I average about 21 to 25 drinks a week. Obviously, that is a lot better than where I started out. I tried 100mg of nal for about 8 weeks with no discernible difference. I have also gone to 25mg and noticed no difference. If I am at home I do wait to crave a drink before taking the nal and I try to postpone taking it as long as I can. If we are going out or meeting friends, however, I just take it on my way out the door. My plan was to give up the nal for a while, but I have been too nervous to do it. I should say that I just had an accident while on vacation and sustained broken/bruised ribs. I was okay without pain meds, but the thought that if I really needed pain medication and it wouldn't work, scared me to death.

So you're cruising at about 50% of pre-TSM levels. While you're not in the group that seems to get to where they want to be in 6-12 months, it seems like you're indeed getting a benefit from Nal.

"I should say that I just had an accident while on vacation and sustained broken/bruised ribs."

Ow! I popped a ribhead awhile back and thought that was plenty painful, I can't imagine what broken ribs would be like! I hope you heal up soon, Deena!

I think the mindful approach might indeed be helpful, maybe start with keeping your drink in another room while you keep an NA drink close by. When you're feeling better, throw in some little tasks/diversions in between sips. When you do feel moved to take another sip, feel the thing that's moving you.

Also, try rating your motivation to pour another drink, where 1 is "Meh, I don't really need it right now" and 10 is stone cold craving that won't let you alone till you pour another.

This is all to break up the habitual part of drinking and give your head/body a little more time to feel what switching to NA for the rest of the evening would be like, vs. what having another drink would feel like.

Another technique is to look at those times during the night when you start drinking faster, like watching TV or talking on the phone and sticking with a NA drink at those times.

It's all about poking around and seeing if you can find a "soft spot" where you can slow things down or go for a NA drink instead.

Gabapentin might be something to investigate, it's good for nerve pain and there's some evidence to indicate it works well with Naltrexone. It also helps drinkers get down into "slow wave" sleep, as we tend to bounce in and out of REM. My doc started me on a low dose of that even before he ok'd my Rx for Nal.