Welcome from me as well SS - I wish you the very best with TSM!

Well, it has been a couple of rough startup days, especially without this board to refer back to. I received my order of Nodict from River Pharmacy last Friday – it arrived International USPS from India and took 2 weeks. I was a little freaked out by the fact that the pills are unmarked as every pharmaceutical I’ve ever seen has had some kind of marking. I guess maybe markings are a US thing and they don’t have any because they are from India?

So, I was glad to get started on Friday after having decided quite a few weeks before that I wanted to try TSM. I took 25 mgs. on a full stomach at about 4pm. About half an hour later, I started to feel that spacey feeling I’ve read so much about on this board. The book really gives the impression that very few people experience any side effects, even initially – I would not have been at all prepared without the warnings on this board. At about 5:30, I have a glass of wine and then pretty quickly another one. Normal pattern for me, but I already notice something a little different. I’m not getting the usual buzz. I have a pretty strong beer. Okay, now its really weird because I would usually be feeling mellow by now. Nada. And my husband has cooked, but I’m not in the least hungry. I nibble on some food and keep drinking. Over the course of the night I have 8 units, a lot for me. At one point, I feel angry – hostile even. I actually have to keep reminding myself that I WANT to do the Method – I want to cut down on drinking. So I’m thinking about drinking and what purpose it has served me over the last few years and I realize that it’s not being buzzed or happy or celebratory – it’s NUMBNESS. That endorphin high has allowed me to conveniently numb out to any emotion I might be feeling. Take away that numbness and I suppose I can expect a lot of emotions to begin resurfacing over the coming months. I bring this up because feeling angry was a bit of a surprise. It’s not an emotion I have often.

I also depend on alcohol to go to sleep and was not feeling tired by midnight, so I took a melatonin (natural supplement for sleep). I was in bed by 1am, but starting to feel nauseous. I fell asleep for a bit, but then woke up with the worst stomach cramps ever. I proceeded to puke my guts out for the rest of the night. I couldn’t even swallow any water without it coming right back out. It was really bad and I hadn’t remembered anybody on the boards talking about a reaction quite like this, so I was scared. I have only ever been that sick one other time – when I accidentally ingested some DEET. I had all kind of horrible thoughts running through my head – what if the pills from India were bad or not what they said they were? Why did I do this to myself? Why do I need to take pills to stop drinking? Why am I so weak-willed that this is what I’m reduced to? And on and on and on. Lots of time for thinking while laying on the cold tile of the bathroom.

The next day you could not have paid me to take another pill or to drink anything. My husband cutely remarked “that stuff sure worked fast.” I had my first AF day in a very long time, though I would not have chosen to get there like that.

On Sunday, I knew I had to have another go at it, but I quartered the pill and took just 12.5 mgs. approximately. Still had the spacey feelings and a few nauseous episodes, but no puking this time. I could not really drink wine though. I had 1 glass and the taste of it was just turning me off. I drank beer and ended up having 4 units. Same experience of no buzz and although I stayed up until 1:30 I just nursed a beer for the last hour. It just seemed pointless. Then night sweats and weird, intense dreams. I have always been an intense dreamer, though, and particularly when I cut back on alcohol. It’s like my subconscious says: She’s not totally passed out, let’s process everything at once! My dreams could be a Russian novel or two when I don’t drink a lot. “All happy (alcoholic) families are alike; each unhappy (alcoholic) family is unhappy in its own way...”

This morning I felt a little nauseous, but am doing OK now. I am going to stick with 12.5 mgs. for the next week and see how it goes. I imagine I’ll need to be careful about drinking timeframes with that dosage. From what I’ve read, it will cover me for about 6 hours. My advice to anyone who thinks they might be sensitive to medication or might have a reaction: TAKE LESS AT FIRST. It is not worth feeling that sick and discouraging yourself that much at the beginning of what is sure to be a long road.

Thanks for the welcome from the folks that have been posting here for a while. Your experiences have been so valuable to me. BTW, in my original posting I did not intend to bash anyone’s religion (I don’t think Nick or Soulby did either). I knew posting anything about religion would be a hot button for some, but I wanted to at least state my experience for those who have gone through similar. For the record, I respect everyone’s right to believe whatever it is they need or want to (even my parent’s ‘Nuf said.

Sorry you had such a lousy time, SS. Many of us are really sensitive to anything we put into our bodies except food!! And even then we have to watch out. Stay strong, and keep going. It won't be that bad again. Most of us take a few days to ratchet up to .50 but once that's reached there is very little "feeling" going on. Good luck!

The good news is that the naltrexone is clearly working for you. And these side effects almost universally diminish within a week or two, max. So, just be patient. I do think 12.5 mg is ok if you drink within a few hours. Increase to 25 mg when you feel comfortable and then 50, if and when you are fine with 25 mg.

I am grateful to Eskapa for his book but it needs to be re-written with an entire chapter on side effects. Almost everyone has them, some of us, severely. And nausea is a common side effect.

So congratulations on taking the first step. It will get easier soon, I assure you. Within in a couple of weeks you'll take the naltrexone and barely notice it in your system. That's pretty much everyone's experience, even those with severely hash, initial side effects.

My best,

Nick

Welcome SS, and congratulations on sticking it out with TSM despite the difficult start. As Nick said, it will get better before long, and it will all be worth it in the end!

Hey Serenity,

Yeah I'm a Catholic too...but am currently not practicing but certainly see BGH's point.

And Nick too,..as he said,...leave Hewlett Packard out of it (HP,..higher power...I would always chuckle at AA meetings when they would say HP).

I was so enthusiastic at first,...I felt born again,..I then realized that this was going to take a bit longer than expected,..BUT that's why this board is so important. It's our fellowship that keeps us all connected and pick us up when we're down...offer a place to spend 30 minutes to an hour...feel free to share as much or as little,..but I think the general consensus is that generally the more the merrier.....Good luck to you

Starting today on Week 3. I stuck with taking only 12.5mgs for the Week 1. There was still some nausea, even at that dose, but it was bearable and I just made sure my drinking didn’t stretch any longer than 6 hours. Continued to feel pretty spacey also. Although, my numbers were a bit lower in Week 1, it was mainly because I had 1 AF day because I felt so sick.

Moved up to 25mgs for Week 2. This week I have still noticed side effects. I’m making sure to take it on a full stomach so nausea is lessened. I have started to get headaches every morning and I am exhausted. I am generally a night owl, staying up past midnight and waking up at 9:30 or 10. I can easily sleep past 11 now and it is a struggle to wake up. I find myself just kind of dragging around and could easily take a nap in the afternoon. I’m determined to stick with it, but the side effects are really rough. I’m hopeful that they will let up soon. Anybody else have constant exhaustion in the beginning – when did it let up for you, if at all?

Not a lot of change in drinking habits yet. I do notice that I’m drinking a lot slower and can sip one glass of wine about twice as long without thinking about it at all. The taste is a little different too, somehow not as good. I don’t drink expensive wine generally, but a few days ago, I had my husband pick up a bottle of “good” wine to see if it tasted any different than 2-buck-chuck. It did taste better, but there is a weird aftertaste consistent to all wines right now. It has made me grab a glass of water or juice a couple of times, instead of wine. I am also able to consciously think at the end of the night, “Do I really want another glass?” and more often than not, the answer has been “No.” It seems like the lack of endorphins means that I don’t feel quite as buzzed by the end of the night and since I know one more still won’t get me buzzed I just go to bed instead. Even with these seemingly positive signs, my drinking levels are about the same as pre-Nal.

I also have a question that I've been stewing on: The idea behind TSM is that eventually I will reduce my craving for alcohol, begin drinking less, have lots of AF days and resume a more normal life. But I will need to take Nal for the rest of my life, before drinking. My question is: If I get down to taking the Nal once or twice a week (hopefully even less), will I have side effects every time I take it? Presumably the side effects are supposed to lessen as my body adjusts to Naltrexone, but right now I'm taking it every day. I'm wondering how often you have to take Nal to avoid constant recurrence of side effects? This may not be something anybody on this board knows, but figured I'd put it out there.

Hi there glad you are still with us.
I regularly go 3-4 AF days and don't have any recurrence of the early side effects. I was nauseous for a few days and tired for a couple of weeks. If you read through the posts of the cured you will see that none of them report a recurrence of the side effects even though many often go long periods without drinking or taking NAL.
Hope this answers your question.

hi SerenitySeeker, I'm going on my 7th week. I can only tell you what it feels like to me so far. I'm a wine drinker and it has tasted weird since I started Nal. That once wonderful taste now tastes like something someone made in their garage. In the morning when I wake up I feel spacey, kind of tipsy but sober, strange. After being up for a few hours I feel like myself again but it certainly doesn't help when you're adjusting while at work. All I can say for right now is something good is happening for me and my husband, I just know we're going in the right direction, hang on!

corkit

SS keep it up. Glad to see you getting thru the SEs.