Thanks, Joe. Makes sense.

"What was your pre TSM drink count?"

That's hard to quantify since I was actively ignoring how much I was drinking. For years it was easily more than a bottle of wine a day (5+ so 35-50+ a week?). Then as I got older it tapered down but was still about 4 to 5 glasses a night (28-35/week). There wasn't a day I didn't drink until about 3 years ago I hit a period where I pretty much stopped drinking altogether during the week and only had a glass or two on the weekends. I had just gotten tired of drinking and it felt like the "spell" alcohol had over me had been broken and this lasted for almost two years. But then the alcohol cravings started creeping back up and my drinking turned into weekend binges.

I think the way I drink now is just as important as how little. For instance, tonight I had 3 glasses of wine between the hours of 6:30 and 11:30 (previous 3 days were AF). Each glass took longer than an hour to complete AND I never, ever drink on an empty stomach. Before the nal I would easily pound down between 3 and 5 drinks in an hour or less to get the rush and have a bottle or two per evening. I'm not feeling drunk (and definitely not "buzzed" as the nal removes that); but I do feel relaxed and a bit tired and ready to sleep. I'm now more aware and sensitive to alcohol's effects and my tolerance to it has diminished.

Other changes that have happened are in the realm of my relationships. For so long I was an overachieving doer and crowd pleaser. I was everyone's performing monkey and this had a lot to do with compensating for my behavior while drunk (and the fact that I am, by nature, a bit of a performing monkey ). There were so many mornings I woke up badly hung over and had vague memories of what I'd said or done while drunk and would feel profoundly embarrassed, guilty, ashamed. To cover for my assumed bad behavior I would act like I was always "up" and happy and willing to do so much for others so they wouldn't notice (or at least pretend not to notice) that my drinking was out of control. Now I have better boundaries and know I'm likable without constantly feeling like I have to prove my worth.

It sounds like we have followed similar paths. I used to drink a lot more. But even though I had cut back, I did a lot of white knuckling and was constantly tense, I can see now.

I need to start working on the psychological/habitual side of it. I had 4 Wed and 5 last night. I could have stopped either night at 2 or 3, but didn't. By, the end of last night, I was left wanting a little more. It was a very stressful day, though, and my pace was still slower and I wasn't in a rush to get that first drink. 41 for the week, but I did some experimenting. No AF. On to week 2! Gonna be more mindful this week and see what happens.

I'm curious if the Nal works less after several hours, leaving fewer receptors blocked. I just looked up the half life. 4 hours.

b... I agree we're on the same path but it's no doubt due to the effects of the nal.

I understand that the nal lasts about 12 hours. I've never had a problem within that time frame. I am taking the recommended 50mg dose.

The only time in the last two months where I inadvertently had wine without the nal was in a grocery store. The liquor department was having a wine sampling and I reflexively took the little cup for a few sips. After two or three sips I was startled to realize I was drinking without nal. I immediately put it down but, boy, even those few sips I felt the beginning of the endorphin rush! (The wine demo rep gave me a quizzical look when I hastily put it down like it was poison. I must have looked mortified and I'm sure she had no idea why.) I walked away and paid attention to how even that tiny bit of wine just went right to my head, like instantly! It was a confirmation that the nal does do the job and what would happen without it.

This will probably sound strange but I really like not having the endorphin rush. I like being in control and able to enjoy the flavor and relaxation without getting goofy and becoming alcohol's bi-atch!

kmca - I thought that was really interesting about the endorphin rush - I have not had even a sip of AL without nal since starting it Jan 2015 - so I was interested to read that you felt such a difference! It scares me to think of drinking without taking a Nal - I know that yours was inadvertent but we SO need to be on our guard! Reading things like that just make my resolve even stronger to never do that - thanks !!

Hugs, Maggie

kmcad61
Wow, this is fantastic and it's exactly the type of information that helps newbies like us. My drinking is severely heavy and I know that I have to implement behavioral changes along with this program so that I don't slip back into bad habits. My main reasons for drinking are that I like the taste, I enjoy being tipsy (which doesn't last long before becoming trashed), and I'm bored. I'm keeping a journal and I strongly encourage everyone to as a way to document progress and struggle. This forum, and reading posts like yours, is one thing I really needed...a space to be open about how hard it is to be an alcoholic and how much I want it to change.
thanks
gottatry

Thanks all for the kind words...it's nice to know we are all here to help and learn from each other. It was this posting community and reading a lot of the stories (and the books) that persuaded me finally to try nal.

Maggie...that bit in the grocery store happened I'm sure because I'm only two months into TSM. It was the first time I ran into a sampling situation since taking nal and I was on autopilot. I won't be caught unaware in that particular situation again. We really do have to be aware of the situations that can happen. I was very amazed at how quickly and strongly that tiny amount hit me. I've seen others post here that they have on occasion had a drink without nal and didn't feel much. Maybe...but I don't want to try it. Btw, I've enjoyed reading your posts and am inspired by your example.

gottatry...I also like the flavor of good wine/craft beer and I like the relaxation that a little can give you. And I also would drink more when bored. However, I really like drinking the most when I'm watching tv or reading a book and it occurred to me that that is not really drinking "alone". I'm mentally and emotionally engaged with the characters I'm watching or reading about so I don't feel alone nor lonely. And keeping a journal has always been good way for me to document progress, let off steam or confess to when I've fallen short of my goals.

Speaking of tv -- is it my imagination or has anyone else noticed lately how so many characters are shown drinking straight spirits? I guess the cool thing now is to be a whiskey pounder or whatever. Just an observation...there are so many triggers in our culture that encourage us to drink and eat too much.

Agree Kmcad

I don't know anyone who drinks straight vodka or scotch but everybody on TV seems to!
Welcome to TSM- glad it's going well for you. Your experience seems similar to mine with the lack of rush from a drink after taking NAL. I experienced good results immediately but did have a night where I kept drinking different drinks to try and get the rush and ended up throwing up. The Nalover was horrendous. That was definitely no honeymoon.

I have also drank without NAL a couple of times where I didn't have the NAL with me - not a good thing to do. Be prepared at all times.

I think the Nal has given me the opportunity to feel what its like to not crave alcohol all the time which is awesome. However you do have to make those behavioural changes because otherwise when those triggers come along you might find yourself tempted to drink without the NAL which is a DEFINITE NO GO. I have found the people on this board incredible supportive.

Take care
MD

Posting an update.

I've been taking it for almost 8 months now. I've only imbibed once without the pill and that was a total accident and it really felt shitty--like pure adrenaline in an anxious way.

Anyway, here is where I am. Pre-TSM was 40-50 per week. Now, I have 6-9 each on Friday and Saturday, 3-4 on Sunday, and 0-3 on M-Th. I can get through a week with 24.

I have begun using the Headspace app and it's definitely helping with personal and professional relationships--next step is more AF days until M-Th are all zero and my weekly total is 12. I still think about it more often than I would like, but I am still very excited about where I am. I am never hung over for work (HS teacher) and I've been exercising regularly. I showed a friend who is a doctor One Little Pill today to help spread the word. When I do get down to 12 weekly, I'll be more willing to spread the word to my non-closest friends and family.