This has been a bad week for triggers and looking at my numbers can tell that that was true. Wine still tastes strange but it doesn't seem to stop me. I think I keep drinking wanting to feel that buzz again and it's just not happening. I guess I'm so anxious for something to happen that I can point to and say look you're turning a corner. I still can't even think of an AF day anytime soon, oh well maybe next week. What do you do if the number one trigger in your life is your husband? Any answers?

PRE/TSM = 50+
Week, Units, CR
WK-1, 31, 10
WK-2, 36, 10
WK-3, 37, 10
Wk-4, 44, 8
Wk-5, 37, 8
Wk-6, 33, 7
Wk-7, 47, 10

Hi corkit,

I don't know whether you have seen the thread that I started very recently as follows:

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=940

As a result of starting this thread, it has made me wonder exactly what we mean by certain terms. So, do you mind my asking - when you use the term 'buzz' above, how do you experience that 'buzz'? Are you able to describe the feeling?

Thanks.

V.

ART, good luck with the therapist, just the fact HB is willing to go means he wants things to work out between the two of you or he'd be gone.

Virgil, I'm not really sure how to answer you about the feeling of buzzed. I guess a state of euphoria where you don't care if the house burns down, ok a little bit of exaggeration. Now my mind seems to be clear to deal with reality as I drink, does that make sense? I know it's not a way of escape anymore.

corkit

Hi V, your instinct to define terms better is a good one, although I think I'd likely not be much help. I do see that collectively we seem to use 'buzz' in particular in various ways.

For me, 'buzz' is NOT the warm glow of satisfaction that I used to get when I raced home after work and popped a cork. As I continued to drink more throughout the evening I would become progressively more inebriated, but not unpleasantly so. Although at the time, if you asked me if I felt 'buzzed' I probably would have said yes.

These days, I think I feel 'buzz' more as 'impairment' - sort of a sense of slightly annoying cognitive noise - not a literal noise, but a sense of mild instability, or mental dishevelment, etc. Like many others, I still feel in control, and not as sloppy as as when I was more enjoyably inebriated, but not clear-headed. I sort of resent the feeling, which helps me not even try to drink through it.

I skipped a couple of weeks here but it seems I go down for a couple of weeks and then I spike back up. I'm sure it's triggers depending on the stress level for the week. I also think writing down how much I drink may have a way of saying to myself "hold on slow down on that wine!" who knows. The holidays are coming and I'm looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. I bet I'm not alone in this last statement.

Corkit


PRE/TSM = 50+
Week, Units, CR
WK-1, 31, 10
WK-2, 36, 10
WK-3, 37, 10
Wk-4, 44, 8
Wk-5, 37, 8
Wk-6, 33, 7
Wk-7, 47, 10
Wk-8, 39, 10
Wk-9-37, 7

Hi corkit & PV,

Once again, I have overlooked replies to a question that I raised - sorry!

Anyway, a belated 'thank-you' to you both for your feedback regarding the use of the "buzz" word. Your comments confirm what I was beginning to suspect, namely that the "buzz" word means different things to different people. To my way of thinking, knowing that is important. As I have said elsewhere, the "buzz" word is not one that I would normally use to describe my experience of drinking alcohol. That's why I was particularly keen to understand what others mean by this word.

Thank you.

Best wishes.

V.

Corkit -- Your pattern is precisely what many have experienced here: Progress, followed by a spike, often to higher than pre-TSM levels. Minneapolisnick has referred to it as an extinction burst. Think of the bird who has been taught he will receive a food pellet after he pecks a lever ("learning" or classical conditioning). Then, food is withheld ( un-learning or "extinction"). For a while, the bird will peck frantically at the lever, but eventually he will give up. The learned pecking behavior now is extinguished. The longer stretch of time the bird has received a pellet after pecking, the longer the bird will continue to peck. Although it cannot be felt on a conscious level, your brain is frantically pecking for the endorphin reward and many of us have experienced a burst like this before we get real results. Many others of us, however, have experienced a series of these spikes and dips. Our brains will not give up as easily as the bird, apparently. But this is why so many of us refer to this process as a roller-coaster ride.

It still is early for you. When you find yourself short of patience, you'll find a refill always is available here.