I will try and track my progress here. It has been a interesting first week on the TSM. I started on 5/30 with 25mg. Before I talk about the first week and this week I will describe my drinking a bit. Probably started drinking more days than not around the age of twenty, I will be 36 in a couple of months. My poison has usually been light beer and hard liquor, mostly bourbon. The drinking became more and more frequent until 2008 when I had a DUI, 3 month drivers license suspended, classes, $2500 fine. Shortly before that I started seeing a therapist. After the DUI I changed my behavior some. I no longer drank farther away than the nearest bar (at the bottom of the hill) and I stopped keeping AL in the house.

During this time I would be able to get 2-3 AF days in a week by convincing myself to go sleep early and started reading lots of sci-fi books as this put me to sleep and gave me something to look forward to other than getting drunk. Up to this point I would say that blackouts were a half dozen a year, some years less, some more.

I continued to have moderate success having 2-3 AF days a week until 2013 when my girl friend moved in. She drinks the same stuff I do, light beer and bourbon but seems to have a better cut off switch, usually after 5 she is done. Though she drinks the same amount all of the time, she does so daily. For a period of time after she moved in, she was still working many nights, so my AF reading days remained. About 6 months ago she got a new job with daylight hours which meant, more week nights that turned into drinking affairs. Unlike her there is a really good chance that after 5 drinks I will have at least 5 more. That's the problem and it seems to have progressed. I have had more blackouts and hangovers in 2014 and 2015 than ever.

When I first started looking at this site I had never really counted drinks. At first when I first thought about it I thought it was about 5-6 per night. The bar we go to typically pours shots in a rocks glass and is usually a double. With that in mind it is probably closer to 10 drinks a night. Where I originally thought I was drinking 40-50 drinks a week, I am probably consuming 70.
Last month I went and saw a therapist and she told me based on the numbers that I should do in patient rehab, I said no to that 1. I didn't want to and couldn't lose the time at work. Then she suggested out patient. I said I would consider it and canceled our next appointment.

During this time I discover the TSM and this site. I ordered nal from the internet and started last week. I started with 25mg of nal. I noticed that I was slowing down on my drinks and felt different in the morning. That first week I was able to make Mon/Tue AF without much effort. That Wed after a reasonable 5 drinks, I came home and got into a half pint and finished it promptly. The hangover with the nal was pretty bad. This Friday I started on 50mg and I definitely could tell the difference. After having just a few drinks this past Friday I felt notably crappy on Saturday. I went AF on Sat, and had a really good day on Sunday until about 4:30pm, when like the devil I knew that I was going to drink that night (even though I said it was going to be AF), I took 25mg of nal and waited an hour. Ended up getting very drunk last night. Sigh.

Anyhow that's it. I am going to keep on keeping on, I do feel more mindful. Moments like the craving at 4:30 yesterday are the scariest because it comes out of nowhere and it's like I'm a different person, no rational thought.

Thanks for reading. There is something cathartic about writing this down.

mem

Hang in there, it will work if you want it to. All you have to worry about is to remember to take your NAL.

Mem, welcome!! I think it sounds very hopeful to you. The most important thing is that you WANT to change. And, you know that you are capable of having AF days, even several a week, which is more than most of us can say.

I know what you mean about becoming a different person when suddenly out of nowhere the urge to drink strikes you. For now, if I were you I would take the nal for awhile every day, hopefully before the cravings get too bad so that you can wait the hour. Try to get up to the 50 mg dose that most people find most effective.

We are rooting for you here!!

Nal on!! Newlife

Week 2

Fri: 8 drinks in a normal setting w/ spouse
Sat:AF
Sun:blackout drunk
Mon:7 drinks
Tue-Thur:AF

Tonight, Friday went out by myself and hand about 5, don't plan to be crazy. My first week I had 2 AF days (and 1 black out) and my second week I had 4 AF days and 1 blackout. Hopefully this week, 4 if not 5 AF days and no bad drunks. My goal is 2 days per week 5 or less drinks and that's it. If I cant do that I will have to go the route of abstinence.

I don't know how much of this has been TSM or rather me facing things in earnest. I am following the golden rule. Sometimes it all seems like I am over thinking things. It's like I think to myself grow up, get it together and make it a non issue.

mem

I'll join you in the belief that you are over-thinking things, and being too hard on yourself. I don't think you goal of progressing immediately to AF is likely to be of benefit. Great, if you can do it. But realistically if you could you would have without finding your way here. TSM works by taking your NAL in conjunction with drinking as you normally would. So take your NAL, drink as you like, start thinking about your future life without alcohol, and in October we will have a much better idea of where you are. TSM does not work in weeks. It takes months. Be patient and hang in there Mem!

+1. be patient, take the Nal, and try not to overthink it. Nal is a tool and takes some time for everybody. focus on your desire to put AL in a different place and stay to course. good luck! zontar