Hi Folks,

It has been a long time since I posted, I know. I am reluctant to visit and/or post from work because my employer has various monitoring schemes and frankly, this topic is none of their business. At night I've been under the gun on a contract and just can't find the time.

I thought I'd give a quick update on my status...

As many of you know, TSM worked for me to some extent but I never really quit. I definitely moderated fairly well but still wasn't happy that I still craved it. I eventually slipped back into 4-6 per night with more on the weekends - definitely not a healthy or happy situation.

I read Ameisen's "The End of My Addiction" and found renewed hope in that. I followed his regimen and got up to 270mg of baclofen per day. While I had days (single days) where I didn't drink, I never really hit the "trigger". I grew tired of the loopiness and transient profound mid-afternoon sleepiness that baclofen gave me so I slowly backed down my dose to 40mg per day, which is where I am now.

Three or four months ago I read "Quit Drinking the Easy Way" and while it made sense, it was crystal clear to me that the guy who wrote it never had a drinking problem (though he claims otherwise). So as good as the advice was, I couldn't get over that fact.

After that I read part of "Rational Recovery" and it really spoke to me but alas, I didn't do anything with it.

Now keep in mind that except for a few times while on TSM I haven't gone more than a day without AL in 15 years or more...

One week ago today I had some evening contract computer programming work I *had* to do to meet a deadline. I take 40mg of baclofen every morning and nothing until the next morning. I've been at 40mg since before Thanksgiving when I tapered down.

That day (Thursday) I decided to take another 10mg on my way home from work on the theory that it might stave off the inevitable evening cravings.

I worked that night a week ago and didn't drink anything at all. I was pretty happy about that and decided to try again Friday night but without the extra 10mg of baclofen. That worked too. So I did the same thing Saturday and Sunday and got more done over the weekend than I have in a long time. Saturday I had some pretty intense cravings but they passed. Sunday I had some cravings but they weren't as bad. By Monday I was starting to feel really good (quality sleep, lots of energy) and didn't have *any* cravings at all. It is now Thursday a week later and I have zero cravings and feel better than I have in years. Understand that I haven't gone more than a few days without alcohol since I started drinking and now I'm not craving it *at all*. My dad is in town and he has a bottle of wine on my kitchen counter - I can look at it and simply not care. Other than the cravings on Saturday/Sunday and some mild jitters on Sunday I haven't had any withdrawal or detox symptoms.

I'm actually beginning to wonder if my alcohol problem was one of habit rather than physical addiction. It sure felt like an addiction. My cravings were always intense every night after work. Once I powered through last weekend they were simply gone.

Multiple times a day I remind myself that alcohol is nothing but a time-stealing productivity killer. It has nothing good to offer whatsoever. I truly have no desire to drink but I'm beginning to mourn all the potentially productive time I lost... I'd probably be a millionaire if I had had more time/energy over the last 15 years.

As an added bonus, I've lost a little over a pound over the last week with no change in diet. That matches up to the number of calories (~3500) I would have drank otherwise. I've got an extra 25 pounds or so, so I'll take it! And my gosh, the energy! I'm almost manic every day.

It's certainly too early to declare any sort of victory but I am very hopeful. If any of you are inclined, prayers for my continued success are appreciated.

BTW, also gone is the desire to one day "socially drink". I don't know how or why, but I no longer see the point.

I'm perplexed but very happy and hopeful.

Best to everyone,
RV

Hey RV, great to hear from you. It sounds like you have found the solution through a combination of TSM and Baclofen. That's awesome.

After reading your history, I now realize how lucky I am that TSM worked for me without anything else.

Thanks again for the site and all of your work.

My best always,

Nick

Hi N101CS, thank you for posting. I've been wondering how you've been. I've never interacted with you on this board directly, but I've read many of your old posts. I'm so glad that you found something that works for you. Are you still practicing TSM at the same time that you are using baclofen?

Also, I wanted to tell you, thank you so much for this site. You don't know how many lives you've helped. You've definitely helped me and I feel like I owe you so much.

Tambo,

Thanks for the kind words.

No, I'm not on naltrexone and haven't been for over a year. I spent nearly a year doing the baclofen thing and still take a small dose that may or may not be helping. Ultimately is was the deep realization of how wasteful and purposeless my drinking was that led me to drop it last week. As I said I've had no cravings since last weekend and that makes me hopeful that perhaps I don't have a physical addiction as much as a mental one. I think the latter might be easier for me (personally) to deal with.

I feel fine. No urge to drink at all.

Wow RV - Welcome back! I'm sure there isn't a single person on this board who doesn't wonder and think about you every time we log in. I'm so glad to hear of your progress. I have to agree with you that this isn't an addiction for all of us on this board. So much of this seems to be the habit of daily drinking for some of us rather than a true addiction. TSM or Baclofen helps us lose our interest in alcohol and with that and more and more AF days, we regain control. I'm sure hoping that is what happens for me. I keep Baclofen in the back of my mind just in case TSM doesn't work, but for now it seems to be working.

So glad to hear from you. It made my day.

Hi,

Congrats that you seem to be finding the right path for you. I think alcohol is different for different people, and that for many, if not most, it is more psychological rather than physical. It sounds like what is going on with you. For sure, a lot of heavy drinkers will suffer physical withdrawal - but once that is beat - why is it so hard to stay "on the wagon"?

Whether we call the alcoholic hard-wiring of our brain psychological or physical is a matter of semantics - it exists and it is what it is.

I have been a heavy drinker for 20+ years (avg 70 units per week) but have no physical dependence. I have gone cold turkey numerous times, anywhere from a week to a month with no withdrawal symptoms, just cravings. But I know that I am an alcoholic - because I always come "home" to the bottle.

We are all different and there is no magic bullet, although I hope TSM is a close approximation:)

Good luck!

N101CS, Glad to hear about the new developments in your quest for an answer to alcohol. Thanks for the update. I'm glad to see you got my PM. We were all very curious as to how things were going with you. Myself and everyone on the board owe you a debt a gratitude for setting up this board. It has grown into a wonderful resource for those terrified people in the grip of addiction and looking for answers. I was one of those 8 months ago and I've found my way out. Thanks again.

Going on 12 days AF and I've had some mild cravings but nothing too bad. Observations:

1. Cravings come when I'm bored. I guess the saying, "An idle mind is the Devil's playground..." is true.

2. Cravings come when I have to do something I really don't want to do (e.g., yard work, contract programming, etc.).

So far everything is completely controllable and I'm not miserable. On the contrary, my energy is up, optimism is through the roof and AL-related GI symptoms are gone (AL really messed with my gut). I'm far more productive, especially after work with my own endeavors.

One distressing moment on late Saturday afternoon when I was shaky and anxious. Turns out I was merely hungry - eating fixed it. Blood sugar must have gone low. I hadn't eaten lunch and under proior circumstances I'd have had enough AL calories in me by that time of day to prevent it

Tapering off Baclofen. At 35mg/day heading to zero by 5mg/day per two days. Refilling baclofen Rx in case I need to go back on it.