Larry, please keep in mind that all of us have different backgrounds and you can't measure how the tsm is going to affect your wife with any of us, that's why we're always asking questions of each other to figure where we're at. Boy, it sure would have been nice if tsm had happened a few years ago and we would have something to go on. Hang on Larry, we have a hold of you and your wife and we won't let go we're all in this together. You mentioned the hidden vodka bottle my husband has been on tsm now for 2mo. and he still hides his! but at the same time I can see a big turn around in him that makes me so encouraged and with sadness I can see little improvement with me.

Take heart, soon none of us will have to hide anything!

corkit

Hey Roxy,

One thing I will say paraphrasing Dr. Eskapa, it took a minute to get this addicted so its gonna take a minute to get out of the storm.

Definitely not a magic pill, but I'm noticing less blackouts, more serenity during the day, and overall, as opposed to total abstinence, not so overwhelmed. It takes a while.

How much do you think she uses on a daily basis? The heavier drinkers for longer term are noticing a longer time to the cure. PLus there's the habit versus craving issue, check the thread

As she gets sober she will also be a little edgy, this is normal TSM or abstaining. Our bodies run on booze and it is no longer being fed its fix. Please have patience. You will see some benefits in the first 3-4 months,.but please support her 100%. My wife is not supporting me and I have to hide my booze. That stinks. Tell her she doesn't need to hide her vodka. That ultimately, you hope for the cure or normal levels. She will appreciate that so much,..trust me,..I would've....we can be mean as drunks but we're nice people sober who wouldn't hurt anyone,...Take care and post often. Jim

Larry here
Thank you so much for all the encouragement. I just showed Roxy all the posts and she is feeling very good about this path and the help available. She took her pill and started drinking while I was out for an errand. An unusual thing happened when I got back. Even though she was buzzed, she began to sob and say she just wants to be normal. This is not a normal occurrence while she drinks, but perhaps just a coincidence. Anyway, she thanks you all, and I thank you all, and will likely be posting regularly for myself and for her.

Regards
Larry

Hi Larry just remind her we're all the unlucky ones (millions of us) with the twisted brains that alcohol affects and it was nothing we chose but it chose us and she will understand but for once there's hope that we can be in charge of what we decide to do. Please tell her to post it helps sometimes to vent out what is going on inside, we've all been there.

corkit

Larry,

My boyfriend is about 12 weeks in to TSM. One thing that we have both found a little strange to deal with was the mindset that drinking is ok. I know that before TSM he would sneak extra booze when I wasn't looking, and I certainly know that I would be all over his ass when I saw him getting completely sauced yet again. It will make it easier if you can both make the switch in your minds: booze isn't an enemy anymore, it is like medicine. Tell your wife to take her medicine whenever she chooses, and try not to get upset when you see her getting tanked. It will get better and better as the TSM takes hold.

Trust me, I know how shitty it is to see someone you love hurting themselves with booze. Even at this stage my BF is drinking a LOT, but it is so so much better than before he started TSM. He doesn't get wild, emotional, and out of control anymore. Hang in there, you are doing a great thing by supporting your wife.

nMarie
That's just the post I needed to read. It's been challenging to change my thinking here, but I have been doing it. The mere fact that we are working together and that I am not hassling her for drinking has changed the dynamic in our approach. She was hiding booze the first few days but is now comfortable that I am not going to judge her if she drinks too much or too often. This in itself has improved our relationship since it has removed the dishonesty component. Thanks you for your support.

Larry

I'm almost at a loss for words after reading the above. So cliche to say support is the key - but where would any of us be if we couldn't hear the stories of those who are suffering as we are? I beg those of you out there who lurk without posting. Shyness is fine, but we NEED to hear from you!! Just say hi and I'm doing _____, and I feel_____.

This is family. Let's keep together. And now that SpringRider is back (and as Baaaaaad as ever) we'd all better watch our steps !!)

Larry/Roxy - so wonderful you are here and that Roxy has your support. My heart goes out to all the couples on here, supportive spouses or not...especially the "not" ones. UGh - if I were still married and trying to do this, I know my ex would think this was nothing short of stupid. I would still be hiding bottles and running water when I went into the kitchen to pour more. LOL I do not miss those days. Keeping my fingers crossed for all -

I cried and cried reading this. My husband is not talking to me at the moment, and I'm feeling pretty discouraged. You have probably been through so much and, like my husband, are truly a good man for not giving up on someone you love. I don't have anything to offer that hasn't already been said. Just know that the shame I feel is so intense, that even after 3 months doing TSM, I still occasionally hide how much I drink. My husband is supportive, but he's also human, and worried as hell about me. Using this approach is truly taking a leap of faith. Your wife is lucky you are taking it with her. As someone in her shoes, just know she is in a hell of a lot of pain. We all drank for a reason. Once the comfort that AL gave me was gone, I started to fall apart in other ways. Nal will extinguish the habit, but not what got her there. Be kind to her. I know it's hard. I see the pain in my husbands face sometimes and it absolutely kills me. It's very hard to forgive myself for this. It will be for her too.

Thank you for your post. I just logged in because I am going through a moment right now with my wife. She hid some booze and lied about drinking today. I was very disseminated about it. I thought we moved beyond that, but I guess she still feels I will judge her. She swears she took her pill as prescribed. I guess all I can do is move forward but it's hard. I really want this to work and I really want to be supportive.

Your post was a great reminder on how I need to act. Thanks again
Larry