I wanted to share a very memorable event that happened last night concerning me finally "coming out" as an alcohol addict to my wife of 20+ years (with most of the gory details, but not all) and an explanation of TSM and why I chose it. My wife has never, ever heard of Naltrexone and is totally unaware of alcohol treatment options. She is a scientist, though, so I thought that might help.

For the past three weeks since starting TSM, I've felt like a whole new man. I'm happy, barely drinking, reading at night (which I haven't done in years), playing games with the kids, laughing, running errands without stopping at the liquor store, etc... I thought SURELY she's noticed a difference. Well, I told her the "whole truth" about how I started drinking straight liquor about 11 years ago (first it was Coconut Rum), then progressed to Captain Morgan, and then to vodka about four years ago -- compulsively, every night, no exceptions. To my surprise, she tells me she had no idea that I ever drank vodka nor any idea that I ever had more than 1 or 2 beers. She said she's never perceived me to be drunk, ever, and that she doesn't think anyone else has ever seen me that way. The way I was experiencing it, I was slurring my words, stumbling, acting stuporous, and sometimes being obnoxious. I don't think she's in denial or anything, I just think I'm that good at tricking people. What do you guys think?

Then, to my pleasant surprise, she thought TSM sounded reasonable and she was all for it. She also mentioned that she wishes some of our friends who have alcohol-addicted husbands could find something like this. She was all about the endorphin-blocking and operant conditioning and didn't really require any further explanation. I told her that I like TSM because it's pretty drama-free compared to other options (e.g. 28 days in rehab at $30K, "relapses" and all that bullcrap). I said we don't really even need to talk about it anymore and that I'm doing better. She gave me a big hug and I think we felt really, really close to each other last night. It was a beautiful experience of love and marriage.

Onwards towards extinction!!! I'm beginning to think I'm more like a lab rat than a human as this is working so well for me. Hmm.

This is a very heart-warming story, and I'm glad you've shared it. I am very happy for you and your wife sounds great. I am also jealous because I am experiencing a much less supportive partner. Basically, he notices everything - there is no drinking that he doesn't notice and judge. He knows that I've been trying to cut down for years and that I've been doing TSM for almost two years. There was great progress at times and he was supportive. Now that the past few months have been rocky with my drinking (partially because of the holidays, partially because of two deaths in the family, partially because of emotional stuff I am finally confronting, whatever) he is basically about to leave me. He says he has one foot out the door, even though I have only drank twice in the past two weeks and the biggest inconvience my drinking has ever caused him is waking him up a few times when I've come to bed drunk, or being depressed on a hangover. Now I know I have problems with drinking -and I'M TRYING TO ADDRESS THEM - but it really sucks to have a partner blame each and every relationship issue on my drinking. Count your lucky stars that your wife is a peach.

It's sort of funny because I'm sure there are some people who think my wife's reaction was a bit odd. She never asked, "Did you ever drive drunk with the kids in the car?" "How can I believe you in the future if you say you're not drinking, since you're so sneaky about it?" or "Do you think random pills from India are really safe? Really?" I don't know what to think about all that -- you just sort of have to know her.

Regarding your husband, I can just say that some people will exaggerate their spouse's faults in order to give them an excuse to either (a) leave / get divorced, or (b) act like an a** themselves. It can be a classic form of passive aggression that makes them seem like the victim when it's really their spouse who is being victimized.